3 5 Ways To Create A Great Date Night

So you're now dating that special guy you met online. You've made it past the first three months of dating and have decided to become exclusive.

You know it's important to date your mate or significant other after the honeymoon phase is over, but it's easy to get caught up with work deadlines and juggling your calendar.

As a dating expert, my number one piece of advice is for couples to create the ritual of scheduling a 'Date Night' every week. This can actually save your relationship from fading away. Not sure where to start?

Here are 5 Relationship tips to keep your date sizzling both online and offline.

1. SELECT A DAY AND STICK TO IT. Make sure you know your date night won't be pre-empted by a baseball game or a standing nail appointment and stick to it. Know that every week on the same evening, you'll be scheduling a romantic evening for you and your honey. Date night is sacred. Hire a babysitter or dog sitter and take a pass on the happy hour invite. If you're sweetheart is out of town, schedule a Skype date as we know that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

2. TAKE TURNS ON SCHEDULING PLANS. Every week, you and your honey should alternate as to who selects the outing. Get creative. It can be as simple as in-room-dining by candlelight, to finding events to attend such as comedy shows, movies, plays, or free concerts. It doesn't have to break the bank, so check out Groupon, Living Social or the free outdoor concerts in your area.

3. PRE-DATE NIGHT FOREPLAY. Show some enthusiasm and excitement leading up to your date. Leave a love note on your pillow or send a sexy text messages to each other in anticipation of your special night. Take out the lingerie that has been collecting dust in your bureau and wear it all day long. Let him know in a text message. He'll be anxious to leave work, perhaps even a little bit earlier than usual.

4. LEAVE THE BOARDROOM BEHIND. If you have had a fight with your boss or are worried about an upcoming presentation, take a break from talking about it on date night. There's plenty of time to talk about work outside of your special evening. He wants bedroom eyes, not boardroom drama.

5. MEMORIALIZE IT. Be your own love historian. Bring your iPhone to take cute photos and videos, log onto Instagram and post a lovey-dovey shot of you and your your sweetheart, and upload them to your photo sharing account on Flickr or to Facebook. If you've already announced to the world that you're "In a Relationship," use Facebook's timeline to announce your first kiss or vacation together. Upload your favorite shot of the two of you onto your desktop for quick viewing in between date nights and keep it handy on your mobile phone.

The simple ritual of creating a date night can help you become as excited as you did during the first three months of dating, and can last for months, years, or decades to come.

"JULIE SPIRA" is a leading online dating expert and bestselling author of THE PERILS OF CYBER-DATING: CONFESSIONS OF A HOPEFUL ROMANTIC LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE. She was a very early adopter of online dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie helps shorten the search so you can happily ride into the digital sunset together. Visit her at "CyberDatingExpert.com" for dating advice and follow Julie "@JulieSpira" on Twitter and at "Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert"

2 Nlp Meta States

NLP META STATES:

ALL THINGS SPLENDID HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED BY THOSE WHO DARED TO BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING INSIDE THEM WAS SUPERIOR TO CIRCUMSTANCES. "BRUCE BARTON

In the 80's and 90's I used to go for month-long retreats in Southwestern France to study with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Master, who was our teacher for many years. One of his constant themes, and something he would repeat over and over again, was that whenever strong negative emotions came up in our meditations, we should treat them kindly. He suggested simply being mindful whenever resentment, anxiety, regret, self-judgment or similar emotions came up; and instead of pushing them away, to treat them with the same respect and affection you might treat a good friend in need. Listen to them, be kind to them.

What would happen to your relationship with a friend in need if you were to judge them, show impatience and anger, or try to ignore them when they showed up?

The suggestion was to develop a relationship with those difficult emotions as you would with a friend. When you do. You can be sure that those emotions will cause you less grief in future encounters with them. It's not that they won't show up any more, it's that your relationship to them begins to change. This is a basic strategy of mindfulness training; simple, though not necessarily easy to do.

GO ON, BEAT YOURSELF UP! YOU DO IT SO WELL!

Unless you do something "DIFFERENT" than just fighting and blindly resisting negative emotions you will never learn the valuable information they carry. You never get to truly heal the deep wounds that we all carry. Worse than that, you end up compounding the negatives:

- beating yourself up about beating yourself up

- getting angry at yourselves for getting angry

- shaming yourselves for failures, weaknesses, your lack of confidence

- having anxiety in anticipation of anxiety or fear

in a repeating pattern of neurotic loops.

Those layers of resistance accumulate and compound, creating a tangle so dense that it seems almost impossible to ever extricate yourself.

NLP META STATES

Those meditation instructions echo the " NLP meta state " model of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which I use now, to great effect with clients who have no experience of, and no particular interest in meditation.

The common key, and the starting point, is Awareness. You begin by simply being aware of the negative emotional state. As if you were with a good friend who was in trouble; you listen to it. You accept it as it is. Later you begin to evaluate the emotion. Is this state valid? Is it appropriate? Am I digging up some old reaction that is completely outdated in the present circumstances? Can I learn from this? What is it telling me?

Asking clear questions with awareness is the first step of becoming master of your emotions. Most people don't develop even this basic skill; or if they do, it is haphazard at best. But if you could learn to handle the infinite progression of emotional states, as they happen, with alignment and clear focus - imagine what would then become possible! You can transform all the emotional patterns that limit who you are, and what you can do.

What I am describing is a way of handling your emotions so that you can play the game of life in an entirely new way, with resilience, resourcefulness, energy, and creativity! And because treating it as 'play', may just be the one of the best ways to embody those qualities!

WELCOME TO THE NLP META STATE -ZONE!

In previous blogs I described how to use NLP Meta States. There are many ways of doing so, and after you become familiar with the process, you will be able to adapt it and create your own unique approach.

I gave you an example of taking a negative emotional state and then gradually accessing its higher level underlying intention. Grief and loss was the initial negative state, and I moved from there to joy and gratitude as its higher level intention, using four intermediate states to get there. I layered each state one on the other, until I was immersed in the joy and gratitude.

Here is another approach to creating NLP Meta States. You begin in the same way, asking what the underlying highest purpose behind the negative emotion is. Then you go DIRECTLY to it, and move backwards to find the sequence that connects it to the original negative emotion. Once again you are layering state upon state, to transform that negative emotion.

Recently I experienced a strange and unfamiliar fear. I was about to stand up at a large gathering of entrepreneurs to publicly acknowledge someone from whom I had learned some life-changing lessons, and for whom I felt profound gratitude. My fear kept me paralyzed in silence. Then I examined it to explore it a little. I began simply with an awareness of the fear, and an acknowledgement that it was there for a reason. I realized that underneath my fear there was a stronger feeling - my gratitude. My gratitude had been buried under old habits, and emotional triggers that had lost their relevance years ago. That awareness alone was enough to shift my focus in such a way that the fear disappeared completely. As I tracked back from gratitude, through layers of love, celebration, energy, I found that I couldn't even access the fear any more. The fear was now the messenger of profound gratitude.

The use of this powerful process called NLP META STATES are something we use to help our clients learn to live with clarity, focus, and purpose. There are some amazing ways of using them that are impossible to describe fully here, but I hope you get a sense of how it works. NLP Meta States are also something we cover in depth in our NLP Certification training.

NLP Meta States, resisting negative emotions, being aware of the negative emotional state, emotional patterns, how to reach NLP meta states. Mediation, NLP, spiritual practice, Neuro lingusitic programming, Hypnosis, personal development, unconscious mind.

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The post NLP Meta States appeared first on Five Changes.

3 Easy Smart Tips On How To Find The Absolute Best Free Dating Site

Congratulations! You have decided to try your hand at free online dating. There are many sites out there to choose from. The trick is to find the best free dating site for your needs. There are several methods to follow when trying to find an online dating site.

List the Features

Begin by making a list of the features you expect from a dating site. Think of the ease of navigation, security and privacy factors, ability to post or view a person's picture and the detail of the personality profile. As you go through the different dating websites, see if they meet or exceed the expectations on your list.

Strength in Numbers

Do not limit yourself to one free dating site. There are quite a few general sites available as well as more specific niche sites. Niche sites are those dating websites devoted to a particular group of people, such as individuals over 40 or singles with children, or those of a specific religion. When choosing the free dating site that most suits your needs, consider one or two general dating sites as well as a few niche sites if they apply to you. By joining more than one site, you have a better chance of reaching a greater number of people. The more individuals you are exposed too, the more likely you will find a potential mate.

Check Out the Forums

There are plenty of online blogs, forums, and websites that rate the dating sites available for you to join. Go check them out, ask questions, read the opinions and unbiased recommendations. The best way to get a review of a free dating site is from someone who is or was a member of the dating site or from a website that compares and contrasts the many online dating sites.

Ask Around

Talk to friends, family and co-workers and see if anyone currently takes part in online dating. Find out what free dating site they use and what they like or dislike about it. By talking with someone you know and trust, you will be more likely to get a true opinion of a free dating site. Remember to keep an open mind as what might work for a friend or a relative may not work for you.

Make Sure It's Free

Always be sure the dating site you are thinking of joining is truly free. Many sites have free trial periods or only offer limited services for free. Too many people fall for these types of websites only to be disappointed when they are asked to pay for a membership in a few months or to pay for upgraded services. Always read the policy and agreement contract carefully before joining any online dating site. This way you will be sure to find no unpleasant hidden surprises sometime down the road.

Give it a Try

Finally, do not be afraid to try out a few websites. As the sites are free, go ahead and join up. Give it a few weeks and see if you like what the site offers. If you do not care for something about the site, feel free to cancel your membership, remove your information from the dating website and move on to the next site.

Related Posts

* Free Dating Sites: Five Positive Values (0)
* Free Dating Sites Not Always Better (0)
* Existence of Free Dating Sites (0)
* Why Would A Free Dating Site Work For You? (0)
* Totally Free Dating Sites - Use Pay Sites For Free (0)

Credit: dating-for-black-men.blogspot.com

2 Psychology Brilliant Nlp Courses

The world around you is changing. Whether we are talking about the change of seasons or the cycles of economic or organizational change, your world demands that you adapt. How well do you maintain a productive fit between yourself and your environment? NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) teaches a set of practices that allow people to adapt and adjust so that they are more successful in responding to change. When you learn NLP, you learn to balance personal integrity with elegant, effective adaptation to new circumstances and relationships. Whatever your measure of success, you can achieve it more reliably when you know how to adapt. Discover more.

NLP Hypnotherapy has often been pronounced together and is closely related too. In fact, both these techniques of self improvement can be considered as members of the same family of therapeutic treatments. As a matter of fact, if you consider trying hypnotherapy and you are looking for a perfect therapist to conduct the same for you, you will soon figure out that there are many hypnotherapists these days that practice NLP hypnotherapy. Conversely, there are many NLP practitioners with certified NLP training programs and are also familiar with the hypnotic techniques.Hypnotherapy is performed using hypnotic techniques for bringing about final therapeutic changes. Hypnotherapy actually enables an individual to resolve their problems by invoking a deep state of relaxation of the mind. When a person feels relaxed, it allows his mind, and specifically the unconscious part of his mind to use all the required resources for finding solutions. It further allows a person to tune in to the voice of the therapist to make sure that the suggestions are followed properly. According to hypnotherapy, the state of relaxation is known as the trance state. It involves focusing attention to ensure better results. For instance, when you are watching a very good movie or you are reading a good book and you are totally engrossed in it. The debate and inquiry whether or not Neuro-linguistic programming is a valid science or not continues. To comply with the technicalities of scientific study, NLP modeling was used to make objective observations and presentations of its principles. Since NLP does not use precise statistical data and other measurable entities that are common among other scientific studies and principles, NLP modeling was introduced. The models have become a tool on which NLP maintains authenticity in studying, determining and discovering the cognitive and emotional processes involved in behavioral and attitude changes. With the helps of these models, NLP has become an exceptionally broad and adaptable principle of psychology.

NLP modeling described to be the process in which neuro-linguistic programming gives the corresponding codes and patterns to human behaviors. With the use of the actually or direct experiences of the subject, the models enable the NLP practitioners to discover and tally relevant distinctions between experiential components. Similarly, the models are helpful in noting and determining the precise sequencing of components that are responsible for the resultant human behavior. When mentioning the term "NLP modeling project", it means spending time in thoroughly studying and observing the depth of a subject's feelings, beliefs, behaviors and responses.

Source http://nlp-blog.net/ and this Web log

1 Psychic Tourist

WILLIAM LITTLE. THE PSYCHIC TOURIST: A VOYAGE INTO THE CURIOUS WORLD OF PREDICTING THE FUTURE. ICON BOOKS, 2009.

Astrology is one of those slightly batty but essentially harmless activities which members of CSICOP (now CSI-not jumping on the bandwagon, honestly mate) tend to get too het up about, or so the conventional wisdom goes. Freelance journalist William Little will tell you that's not the case at all. As a birthday gift he gave his sister birth charts for herself and her young daughter, and as a result of hints in these about the dangers of water, she has become phobic about going anywhere near streaches of water, it is beginning to seriously constrict her life.

This sets Little off on a quest to see if there is anything in claims to be able to foresee the future, and for psychic claims in general. He visits mediums and celebrity psychics, researchers and sceptics (even the notorious Richard Dawkins), witches and astrologers. Like many who have gone before him he finds that the truth in this field very hard to pin down, and that often dramatic-seeming claims tend to evaporate on close critical analysis. There is the 'psychic detective' who was the subject of a glowing report in the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research, promoted by the late Montague Keen. Sceptic Tony Youens came to very different conclusions, and nicely sums up Keen as "someone who would believe anything as long as it was paranormal". We squirm as he read of this 'psychic detective' leading some poor grieving mother the most un-merry dance imaginable.

There can be disagreement among the sceptics of course, Derren Brown believes that psychics operate by understanding psychology and watching out for subtle clues, but Richard Wiseman thinks that this gives them too much credit, many 'psychics' are not very empathic, have poor people skills, and work by a process of non-stop chatter and rather bullying people into agreeing with them.

The more scientific believers such as Brian Josephson and Dean Radin invoke quantum entanglement as explanations for their mysterious effects, but other physicists are more than rather sceptical, arguing that quantum entanglement requires very special laboratory conditions, such as complete isolation from the environment, not likely to be found in the 'hot and wet' human. These critics are not al the classical establishment yes-men, they include Ronald Mallett who is trying to build a time machine in his lab, and David Deutsch who believes there are vast numbers of parallel universes.

Though believers may have a point if they argue that just as some bereaved people might be strongly motivated to believe in the paranormal, Little's own predicament might mean he is strongly motivated not to, they face one big problem. Precognition is a testable hypothesis, and it has failed the test time and again. Of course after the event there are always people who claim that they or someone they knew predicted this, that or the other, but there were no unambiguous before the event predictions of such dramatic events as the election of the Polish Pope, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of communism in Europe, 9/11, the Asian tsunami, the election of President Obama, the current financial crisis and so on and so on. The psychic literature on the other hand simply groans under the weight of wrong predictions

This is a light-hearted book, rather than a scientific one, but it is one with a serious message: your future is in your own hands rather than in the stars or the messages of a psychic. Read it before you consult one, or better still instead. -- "Peter Rogerson"

1 Bringing Innovation To Hr Strategy Highlights Of The 2013 Shrm Strategy Conference

We're living in a VUCA world, said Dr. Tom Hogan at the 2013 SHRM Strategy conference. And, indeed, that was the talk of the conference.

VUCA stands for volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. Each of the speakers I heard shared thoughts, models, tools, and stories about how companies can succeed in a VUCA world.

THINKING HAS BECOME A DARING ACT

"Thinking has become a daring act," keynote speaker Lisa Bodell (@LisaBodell) proclaimed. After all, she explained, what happens when we walk into an office to see someone staring out the window? We wonder why they're not working. The act of thinking is seen as something frivolous, time-wasting, and counter-productive. After all, thinking gets in the way of getting things done!

And yet, we're at a time in history when we need to think more than ever. We face complex, vexing problems with deep implications for communities, our companies, and our ecosystems. We need leaders who can help us explore solutions and push the boundaries.

Unfortunately, says Bodell, we're not grooming people to become these leaders. Instead, we're creating professional cynics: people who, when you share your latest idea, can quickly analyze the situation, point out the reasons it won't work, and successfully protect the company from risk. The problem, of course, is that, to solve our knotty problems, we need to take risks.

How do we move towards greater innovation and breakthrough problem solving? Keynote speaker Peter Sheahan (@PeterGSheahan) shared two stories I loved about breakthrough problem solving.

ZARA COMPRESSES A THIRTY MONTH PROCESS TO FOURTEEN DAYS

Zara, the Spanish clothing manufacturer, has become the largest apparel manufacturer on the planet. They've been incredibly successful by finding a solution to a ubiquitous problem in fashion: By the time runway fashions make it to the stores thirty months after their initial viewing, they're often pass'e. Some of the lucky styles are swept up by eager consumers excited by the new trend which lasts, on average, only six weeks. In other words, most companies spend thirty months working for a six week sales period-if they're lucky.

Sheahan explained that Zara radically rethought the entire process. The company sends photographers to the fashion shows. Their photos immediately land on the factory floor where teams of designers, market specialists, procurers, and production planners figure out how to get the product shipped within fourteen days. Zara bypasses the time-consuming back-and-forth negotiations between areas to quickly and efficiently get products to market. The company broke the barriers by creating cross-functional teams, giving them an impossible goal (reducing a thirty month cycle to fourteen days), and challenging them to achieve it.

BEST BUY ENGAGES WOMEN IN TECH BUYING

Best Buy, years ago, learned an unsurprising fact that was, nevertheless, news to company leaders: women comprise 50% of their customer base. In response, Best Buy leaders decided to make their stores more welcoming to women. So, Sheahan explained, they hired a male management consultant to make recommendations. His suggestion: hire more cute, brawny workers to attract female customers. The lone female executive, according to Sheahan, was enraged.

Julie Gilbert tried a different approach. She asked female Best Buy employees what would make a better shopping experience. Their ideas were practical and helpful. Widen the aisles so they're less crowded. Mute the harsh florescent lighting. Lower the fixtures since most women can't reach high shelves. Put up clear, common language signs to help us find our way around the store. Clean the bathrooms.

Best Buy took the suggestions and saw an 11% increase in sales revenue, a 40% increase in female General Managers and GMs in training, and female Geek Squad members increased by 400%. Best Buy broke down the barriers by asking, and then really listening, to their employees' ideas-and then implementing them.

These are just two examples breaking down barriers. The conference was full of them. And, as an advocate for business ecosystem thinking, I couldn't be more delighted. In my session on "The Forest and the Trees: Understanding Business Ecosystems", we learned how to understand and find opportunity in business ecosystems, the volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous world in which we operate. Stay tuned for the next blog post on business ecosystem thinking for more on how to bring this thinking to your company.

HR'S ROLE IN STRATEGY DEVELOPMENT AND IMPLEMENTATION

It's natural for HR to advocate for soliciting feedback form staffers and engaging people in radically rethinking process, but many HR shops never do. They get caught in the transactional details of everyday life like coordinating benefits, handling employee relations issues, and rolling out performance management systems. Yet HR could be so much more.

Here, then, is your challenge, HR leaders:

WHAT CAN YOU DO TODAY TO ENGAGE PEOPLE IN YOUR COMPANY IN ORDER TO SOLVE PRESSING BUSINESS CHALLENGES?

HOW CAN YOU GET OUT OF TRANSACTIONAL MODE AND USE YOUR DOMAIN-PEOPLE-TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR YOUR BUSINESS?

The post Bringing Innovation to HR Strategy: Highlights of the 2013 SHRM Strategy Conference appeared first on Partnering Resources.

1 Tech Blogger Dobs In Trolls To Their Mums

A young tech-blogger from Australia has managed to think outside the square to hit back at internet trolls who were threatening her with sexual violence; she dobbed the in to their mummies.

Some of these internet trolls threatened rape towards twenty-one year old Alana Pearce of Brisbane. She took this action against the trolls after realising that they were not grown men, but teenage boys, threatening her from the safety of being hidden behind their computer.

According to the Guardian, the gaming journalist said she had received one reply from a mother who called her son a "little s**t".

'She responded in almost exactly the way I wanted her to,' Ms Pearce said, according to news.com.au. 'The fact she called him a little s**t I found funny as well because I thought that but I wasn't going to say anything.'

Miss Pearce is a gaming reviewer for radio stations Triple J and 4ZZZ. She told of how determined she was to show these boys that there were consequences for leaving violent or "disgusting" messages online, despite the apparent lack of repercussion.

"It turns out that mostly they're young boys and the problem is they don't know any better, so responding to them rationally didn't resolve the situation. And it got to the point where their comments were starting to make me feel really uncomfortable," she said, according to the Guardian.

The young woman decided to track the boys down online before contacting their mothers through Facebook, to alert them as to what their sons had been up to online. She posted her conversation in which she received a reply from the mother on Twitter, were she received a huge amount of support. Alana said that by making this public, she would show many of the younger, internet using generation who considered making such threat, to re-think there actions before they went ahead and made threats towards people.

"I've had people asking me today why this boy has been sending me rape threats, and is there any context," she said. "I can only assume he's seen a video of mine that he didn't like, or that I'm a woman in games on the internet. It sounds illogical, but it happens to so many people. Every time this happens to me, I will do this. I won't necessarily post it on Twitter, but I will definitely continue doing it."

In Internet slang, a troll is a person who attempts to disturb other internet users by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in online communities such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog. The quite deliberate intent is usually just to provoke readers into an emotional response, or just generally steer the topic off course for their own amusement.

Whilst the word "troll" and its verb "trolling" are commonly used in association with internet discourse, the terms have also been used more widely. In recent years, incidents of harassment such as the one described above concerning Alan Pearce, and also more serious and disturbing accounts, have attracted media attention which has resulted in trolling being equated with online harassment. As an example, there have been times of late where media now use the words "troll" or "trolling" in reference to "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families".