Saturday, November 29, 2014

1 What Do Women Find Attractive In Men

What Do Women Find Attractive In Men
So, what do women find attractive in men? Men often think it's things like money, power, muscles, good looks, etc. but those are very far from the top of list! Experts agree. Let's look at the five most important things.

First of all we need to mention that ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. You do not decide you will be attracted to someone. It just happens. Just like if you suddenly encounter a large vicious snarling dog on the street, you are going to be scared. You do not decide to be scared; it just happens. Being scared, like being attracted, is entirely involuntary. Let's look at the things that make men attractive to women, regardless of what women think.

CONFIDENCE: Confidence is simply highly attractive in men. Studies have shown that women rate the most confident looking men as the most physically attractive. It doesn't matter how you met. You can certainly appear confident, but you can only get so far if internally you are not so confident. You can build confidence through successes, little or big. Start by standing up straight and not looking down when you talk to women. The material on this site will certainly help you build confidence!

INDIFFERENCE: This may seem illogical but it isn't. We all want what we can't get!

The opposite of indifference is neediness. Perhaps you had a girlfriend who became extremely needy. I'm sure you found it unattractive. Women find neediness extremely unattractive. If you say or do something, do not look at a woman for approval. If you tell a joke, do not look for approval. You are doing things for yourself - that is attractive. Hopefully they will like what you are doing too, but that must be secondary.

This can be tough if you are hung up on one girl, so do not get hung up on one girl! Not that long term monogamous relationships are bad, they're great, but she must prove herself first.

PASSION: You need to have passions in your life (other than women). Passion is attractive. If all you do is get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, beers, TV, and then crash, trying to pick up women on the weekends, you've got a boring life. Who would want to be part of that life? Not most women.

The passion is not important, but communicating it in terms of feelings and emotions is. For example, I love to flyfish and if I'm explaining the feeling of a beautiful sunrise somewhere gorgeous I'd never experience if I didn't fish, women love that. If I stick to facts and figures, "I caught 5 fish between 12 and 30 inches," that's boring to them.

I've started playing blues piano for example recently. I truly suck! It doesn't matter as chicks love it. I am having so much fun and that fun and passion shines through when I talk about it!

If you do not have any passion, you're not going to be great with women.

FUN: You had better be fun, and demonstrate it quickly, in order to attract women. Clearly not fun is unattractive. The best way to create fun is by joking and teasing. Playful teasing is fun and creates attraction.

For example, I just met two very cute younger women at Staples. They were trying to use the copying machine with great trouble, and I offered to help claiming that it was very complicated and clearly they were not technical. Now I was clearly being silly, and my expression showed it, but their reactions were amazing. After chatting and copying for 5 minutes, they gave me (I didn't ask) their phone numbers and insist we need to get together sometime!

APPEARANCE: I said good looks were way down the list and I mean it, but appearance matters to women. This is more how you dress and present yourself than innate physical beauty. Get a decent haircut, or shave your head. Throw away those ratty t-shirts. Really, throw them away TODAY! Get some decent shoes - as stupid-assed as it sounds, women care about shoes.

Now I have the sense of style of a jackass, so I go shopping with women. My brother's wife loves to shop with me and buy me clothes. I also shop with a woman I met online who has become a friend.

I commonly have women commenting on my style. I've heard, "I can't believe how cute you are" twice this week (and I'm not). This stuff, how you present yourself, which is mainly how you dress yourself, really matters to women.

You might think it is illogical, and it is to most of us men, but it really makes an enormous difference with women.

So, do women find bald men attractive? Do women find fat men attractive? Do women find muscular men attractive? Yes, yes, and yes because it doesn't matter! Physical attractiveness is so far down the list of what a woman cares about and finds attractive. It'll get you noticed, but rarely more than that!


Thursday, November 27, 2014

0 New Russian Dating Member Didie 27 Philippines Dumaguete City

New Russian Dating Member Didie 27 Philippines Dumaguete City
didie, Female, 27 (Taurus) - Philippines Negros Oriental Dumaguete City





Height: 160cm

Weight: 50kg



I'm family oriented. I'm not hard to please, I'm such a kid at heart, it doesn't take much to make me happy. and I'm absolutely ready to meet and settle down with the right man. and when i do find him, i ill shower him with love each and every waking day of our.I am a simple woman with a good heart. In my life I always treat people with honesty and respect, and of course I want the same.I'm a down to earth person who wants to make friends.I like those with good sense of humor and can communicate well. Intelligence is an asset i admire most in a person.Friendly funny and sensible are few of the descriptions i can say about myself.I hate people who speak ill of others cause everyone has a unique character that differs her from the rest.I'm not beautiful and i`m not perfect but i`m honest, loyal, understanding and caring person and have a big heart.and i will be respect others if they can respect me.I` can be extremely quite or extremely loud.i am open minded whom can count on...i`m strong on my will.I'm always be positive thinking.

Looking for:

Willing to relocate:

Its not how much you have, but how much we enjoy that makes the people happy.A genuine open and honest guy. with a good sense of humor and fun loving family guy.Here to meet someone who is down to earth and easy going. I like a person to be honest. No matter what we do or how we do things the truth always comes out. With honesty you develop trust. In time you have good communication with no doubts. I hope to find my soul mate here.I want to meet a special man with a good heart, understanding, have a good sense of humor, love family life who will love me as I am and want to be loved by me. And like I told before, he must treat other people with honesty and respecting. Well, I know that there are so many gentle men out there but I believe only one of you is special for me.Further, he should have patience and good spirit towards life.


Sunday, November 23, 2014

0 Schrdingers Rapist

Schrdingers Rapist
If you are a regular reader of the more feminist-oriented of the Freethought Blogs, Skepchick, or other feminist blogs, odds are good that you have heard of Schr"odinger's Rapist. Even if you actively avoid such blogs, you've likely encountered reactions to Schr"odinger's Rapist on other blogs. I have read the infamous Schr"odinger's Rapist post a few times, and I'd like to share my reactions. I suspect that they may be a bit different from what you've read elsewhere.BACKGROUNDTo provide a bit of context for my comments, I want to point out that the Schr"odinger's Rapist post is highly derivative (i.e., unoriginal). I read a few very similar articles back in the 1990s when I was learning about feminist and multicultural theories in graduate school. Some dealt with women and rape in virtually the same way; others dealt with the subtle forms of racism experienced by members of many ethnic minority groups. What these articles had in common was that they were tools designed to inform readers about privilege. When I note that "Schr"odinger's Rapist" is derivative, I do so not to criticize it but to place it in this broader context. Being derivative in this case is a good thing, as the post belongs to this tradition. This is why it sounded so familiar when I first read it. THE VALUE OF "SCHR"oDINGER'S RAPIST"Articles like this are not designed to bash men or to assert that all men are rapists. Rather, they are intended to provoke thought and stimulate discussion of privilege. In the U.S., male privilege and White privilege are similar to Christian privilege in that those of us who belong to these categories (i.e., White men) do not naturally go around thinking of ourselves as privileged. "Schr"odinger's Rapist" is one of many pieces of writing aimed at raising awareness of privilege, much like many of us have attempted to do with Christian privilege.The value of "Schr"odinger's Rapist" lies in the strong reactions it elicits, positive and negative, if we assume that these reactions lead to meaningful dialogue. Articles like this can be extremely effective in raising awareness and prompting discussion. Having had the opportunity to discuss (and debate) articles like this in a mixed-gender group of about 12 graduate students, I can attest to how powerful they can be. They do bring up strong feelings, but in the right environment, that is precisely what is needed.When an article like this is widely disseminated on the Internet, many who encounter it lack the context I described. Instead, it reads like a paranoid attack on men. It is dismissed, dissected, and disputed but not really discussed. That is not to say that some might not read it and broaden their perspective as a result, but I suspect that articles like this are far less effective on the Internet than as fodder for small group interaction.REACTIONS AND THEIR IMPLICATIONSPredictably, reactions to "Schr"odinger's Rapist" in the atheist community seem to be split along the usual lines. We have PZ Myers praising it as the ultimate guide for men who want to interact with women. And we have countless others dismissing it as paranoid rantings and man-bashing. These reactions highlight one of the larger divisions in our community today and should surprise no one.I find myself taking a somewhat different position. Personally, my attitude toward "Schr"odinger's Rapist" is quite favorable. I recognize what it is trying to do. I have seen how effective articles like this can be. I could even see myself using this post in a class to stimulate discussion on privilege, much as I have done before with similar articles. At the same time, I understand why we are seeing many of the strong negative reactions to the post. Without my background and knowledge of the larger context, I'd likely react the same way.Separated from this context, the protagonist of "Schr"odinger's Rapist" seems hypervigilant and even a tad paranoid. In my experience, most women (and this includes some with a history of sexual assault) do not live like this. They do not regard all men as potential threats, constantly scanning their environments for warning signs and the like. This woman sounds like she may be suffering from a fairly severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder, but of course, "that is not the point of the post".Does the post offer some decent advice for men wanting to approach unknown women? Sure. It tells men to listen and pay attention to social cues. It tells men to respect what women say. It tells men to think about the nonverbal signals they are sending. It tells men to recognize that women will differ on how they handle advances from strange men. And of course, it tells men not to threaten, grope, or assault women. My advice to a socially awkward man who was coming to me for assistance with dating would likely include these suggestions.CONCLUSIONI think that some of the negative reactions to "Schr"odinger's Rapist" are missing the point of what articles like this are trying to accomplish. The intent behind articles like this is usually constructive dialogue and not misandry. At the same time, I think that some of those praising it (and simultaneously condemning anyone who criticizes it) are mistaken as well. All this does it make it even less likely that anything productive will come from having an article like this in circulation.In the end, I think we'd all benefit - women and men - from more rational discussion and less name-calling.Subscribe to Atheist RevolutionCopyright (c) 2013 Atheist Revolution.

Friday, November 21, 2014

0 A Couple Of Words About Charisma And Political Image

A Couple Of Words About Charisma And Political Image

By Dmitry Vasenyov

Political image is an exceedingly vital subject in the world of politics. Folks always stereotype politicians, that`s why it is essential for them to go for a correct political image to collect the majority of votes. Every politician has his firm daily schedule and commonly it is full of heated discussions, debates, business visits and unpopular decisions.

All people stereotype politicians. When we think about them we envision a serious and staunch man in a suit. Actually, it is not far away from the truth, but not every politician possesses one extremely important thing and it is charisma.

In all times charisma was something special, something that made politicians popular and powerful. Usually it is even complicated to explain what a charisma is. But when people meet someone gifted with charisma they automatically understand it. Charismatic politicians communicate with other people on a higher level: they convey people their opinion and then convince them follow it in a very easy way. And people will believe that this point of view is correct and that it will bring them happiness. This gift is extremely weighty for politicians.

Earlier it was considered that charisma is an inborn quality, but recent studies discovered that an individual can be tought to be charismatic. Actually, as soon as someone becomes politician he hires teachers to learn all peculiarities of this profession. Inter alia, they learn how to use their charisma. But we must not confuse charisma with physical attraction and sex appeal. Charisma allows its possessor to create strong emotions in people. It has nothing to do with appearance.

If a politician had a dreadful story in his past, but he has charisma it can significantly help him to improve the state of affairs. And a politician must be confident in what he does. Nonetheless, people of politics can`t rely upon charisma always. They should in no way forget about suitable and well fitting clothes because nobody canceled the adage that clothes makes the man.

About the Author:

If you are fond of tracking politic events review this visit-x site - it's not just another online news site, there you can find other people's opinions as well.

Monday, November 10, 2014

0 The Prodigal Son Part 7 Maid To Please

The Prodigal Son Part 7 Maid To Please
After his experiences of the previous day, Ray did not feel like going into work and so he phoned in sick. 'Men's troubles' was the reason given for his absence. His friends on the admin team used it all of the time.

He lay in his silken and lace bed, feeling miserable.

His sister, Heather, came to visit him. Heather was wearing a pair of slacks, an open shirt and a red pullover. She was going to play golf with some of her friends, but, as a medical student she had a interest in medical problems.

She took Ray's pulse, felt his forehead and even produced her stethoscope and used it to listen to Ray's breathing.

"There's nothing obviously wrong with you" she announced "You're depressed and agitated. A good day's sleep should help".

After Heather had left, Ray leapt out of bed. He showered, perfumed his hairless body and dressed up in a satin gold blouse, a matching red skirt and jacket set and red high heels. Underneath, he wore lace topped black stockings, a lace boy-bra and white, lace-trimmed french knickers. Ray made up his face and picked up his handbag and went out.

An hour later, he nervously entered the Duck & Ferret public house in one of the poorer districts of the city where his mate and partner in crime, Doug was waiting for him.

Ray was hoping to persuade his friend to abandon their plan to rob his mother's company. Ray had initially been up for the robbery, even though it had meant that he had had to eschew traditional masculine clothing in favour of what he now had to wear. But, weeks of having to live in feminine clothes and living a feminine life, had altered him. He was losing the masculine instincts that had made him strong, assertive and confident and was instead adopting the more feminine qualities of timidity, lack of confidence, submissiveness and even a liking for pretty, frivilous things.

He was no longer up for doing the robbery. In fact, he was scared out of his wits at the thought of being involved in crime.

He went to the bar and bought himself a glass of white wine and a pint of beer for Doug.

Doug smiled at him appreciatively "Thanks". He looked Ray up and down "Bloody hell, you look like a posh bird. If you have to dress up like a bird, wear a mini-skirt. You've got cracking legs!"

Ray went red "I didn't dress up for you! I did it for me". It was true.

Doug sneered "You actually enjoying dressing up as a woman, don't you? I can't believe it. The great Ray McBain, heir apparent of his father's criminal empire, has become Miss Moneypenny and is loving every moment of it!"

"Doug, never mind that. We have to abandon the plan to raid Al La Mode", he said in a whisper.


"We aren't ready! We have less than two weeks before I have to away to college".

"What do you mean, we're not ready. I'm ready! As soon as you do your part. Seems to me, you're the one who isn't ready!"

Ray looked down at the tips of his high heels, unable to contradict him, for he was right.

Doug took one of his manicured hands, gently, like a lover, and then squeezed it tightly. Ray gasped in pain. Doug leant over as if to give him a kiss and whispered in his ear "Listen to me, you stupid bitch, I'm in serious trouble! I need that money like yesterday, so why don't you stop playing at house or whatever is going on inside your head, and get us the combination to the safe! The sooner you get the combination, the sooner we do the robbery and then you can become Miss World for all I care!"

The Miss World competition had been abolished seven years earlier, as a result of feminist agitation and the ascendancy of women. Doug was the one who was out of touch with the real world.

"You're hurting me! Ray protested. Doug released his hand. "Get that combination. Soon". He whispered. "Now, get out of here. I'm sick of drinking with bloody trannies!"

Shaken and in pain, Ray gulped down the rest of his wine, picked up his handbag, and stumbled out of the pub, on the verge of tears. His attempt to avert the robbery had been a complete failure. Not only that, but as a result of him having to wear skirts, Doug had lost all respect for him. He was just a "stupid bitch" to him now and he had treated him like one.

Ray couldn't face going home. If he went home, he would merely wind up in his boudoir, all sulky and miserable in silk, satin and lace.

He jumped on the tram. On the way, a drunk businesswoman in a tailored suit had tried to chat him up and she had roughly tried to paw and fondle him. Normally, Ray would have given her short shrift, but his natural feminine instincts seemed to override everything else, and he endured the woman's attentions.

He was saved by the intervention of a group of teenage boys. They were all in tight fitting, short-skirted dresses, heavily perfumed and made up and teetering on high heels. They were on a boy's night out, hoping working girls would notice them and ask them out.

They had seen Ray protesting mildly at his treatment as his suitor tried to slide one of her hands underneath his skirt and the brash, aggressive woman had found herself surrounded by a gang of handbag wielding boys.

The woman had tried to assert herself, but came under attack from a rain of blows from the boys' handbags and was forced to beat a hasty retreat down the carriage, shouting obscenities in their direction. The boys helped Ray to his feet and he thanked them sincerely.

"No need for thanks, brother" the leader of the boys said "We boys need to take care of each other". The boys resumed their seats.

Ray was impressed by the apparent solidarity of the boys towards members of their own gender.

He got out at the next stop and walked towards his next destination. Along the way, he had to walk past a building site. In the old days, before women became dominant, the workforce would have been predominantly male. However, since men had been forced to wear skirts and high heels, the workforce was now predominantly female.

The female workers had muscles, hairy arms and tattoos. When they saw Ray, the wolf whistles began, accompanied by comments like "Flash yer knickers for us, love!", "Lookat that arse!" and "Come and sit on my lap, Dollface!"

Ray was mortified and had never felt so vulnerable in his life. His head down and blushing, He had to force himself to keep moving. His high heels meant that his progress was slow, at best,but at last he was beyond the building site.

So, he thought, this is what it means to be the member of the weaker sex! To have women pawing you, wolf-whistling you and making you feel vulnerable. Still, when he had still been a member of the dominant sex, he had never considered how woman felt about some of the things he had said and done in his time, he reflected.

At last, he arrived at his destination and rang the buzzer. When he confirmed who he was, he was admitted into the building.

Debs and Charlie were waiting for him. They had been pestering him with texts and voice messages to drop around their place for some fun. He had tried to resist, until the girls had pointed out that they had helped him out after an attack by some knife wielding girls had left him semi-dressed and helpless. He had felt obliged to go around, even though he didn't want to.

He stood in front of them, clutching his handbag. The girls did not look happy. "Charlie and I are very upset with you, Ray! After all we've done for you, after all of the attention and time we've given to you, you ignore our calls and texts".

Head down, Ray mumbled an apology.

"What was that? I didn't hear much of an apology there! Did you, Charlie?"

"Nope" said the other girl.

"I'm really, really sorry" said Ray, in a louder voice.

"That's better. Now, for being a very naughty and ill-mannered boy, we've decided on your punishment". Debs produced a French Maid's outfit "Get changed into this and be quick about it!"

Ray took the shiny black uniform with its frilled apron and cap and changed into it in one of the bedroom. The uniform clung to his body and the lacy skirt fell only to his upper thigh. The slightest movement would reveal the frilly knickers he had to wear underneath his skirt.

The girls clearly intended to inflict maximum humilation on him.

He wobbled into the living room, perched on his stiletto heels.

"Very nice!" chorused the girls. Debs handed him a feather duster "Now, pretty maid, we want this flat so clean we could eat our dinner off the floor. Get to work!"

Ray spent the next two hours cleaning and dusting. It was clear that the girls didn't bother with housework at all judging from the thick layers of dust and grime and he was exhausted by the time he had finished.

The girls watched him work, amused. Occasionally, one of them would flip his skirt up as she passed him or give him a firm slap on the rump.

Ray knew that this was all part of their game to reverse the traditional gender roles to make themselves the "guys" and Ray the "girl". It was deeply humiliating all the same to have to be a cross between a housewife and a girlfriend.

But the girls hadn't finished with him yet. He was pushed onto their bed, face down and had to endure their large, penetrating dildos. Through the painful and shameful experience of being used by two girls, he was aware that this was not sex but a demonstration that, in this new woman's world, that they had the power and he had none at all.


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

0 An Eye Opening Confession About Bad Relationships And Marriage From The Comfortably Unhappy

An Eye Opening Confession About Bad Relationships And Marriage From The Comfortably Unhappy
One of your fellow readers offers a compelling confession of her 15 years of being comfortably unhappy - nearly half her lifetime! Look to see if you see any part of yourself in her confession...

A very dear friend in London wrote to me confessing having spent nearly half her life in this condition before she finally broke free of her husband, a philandering, abusive, substance-abusing codependent wussy parasite who thought her purpose in life was to provide for him and his was to take advantage of it. Meet Heather:

David....sorry but I read your lesson about "Comfortably Unhappy" from yesterday [See: in the archive at our forum

to catch up]


Do you realise that was me for a long time before I contacted you, comfortably unhappy? You could use me as a perfect example of how not to do what I did and waste years of your life.

I was evaluating how long I was truly unhappy and you know what I came up with..............I was with [him] for 15 7 years I had an affair with an older man (gosh how I wish I'd run away then, but things wouldn't have led me to the other things I have today, like my career, if I'd done that, so it's ok really!) and I'd been miserable for a good year before that so and the friendship with the guy had been growing through that time where we were meeting each other in a plutonic way before we got it on so to speak and that means I was comfortably unhappy for 8 years David......why I stuck it for so long I do not know and all that happened is things got worse and worse even after I stayed after the affair as his possessive controlling behaviour escalated so how do we explain why people dont 'wake up' to what's going on for so long.............

I mean I didn't properly think about leaving when I was caught in the affair at that time it was easier to stay in the comfy situation than change everything, and I felt awful for the hurt I'd caused [my ex] despite the fact I knew the reason I had done it was because I was being taken for granted and treated like a maid even back then. Is that weird or what?!

I think after embracing the change I had this time I'd be the first one to say if you're not happy, run! Do whatever it takes! Just don't waste life.

Life is a precious gift that is far too short already and the only thing I have grieved for through all of this isn't my failed marriage or my lost childhood love/sweetheart. It's my wasted years of my life that I cannot ever get back, years literally spent being comfortable but unsatisfied and unhappy in every way.

Do you think if people realised how much you actually kick yourself afterwards they would wake up and sort out their own situations now, rather than waiting and waiting and watching the years of their life ticking away until they can't take it anymore?!

Just my thoughts on the newsletter and if you want to use any of them feel free.......


Guys, it's no different for us. We get in a rut, we spend years seeking a woman's approval, or looking to her for our self-esteem when we should be looking to ourselves and she has none of her own, let alone any to give us. We mistakenly think that things get stale and boring because that's the way they are supposed to be, and that's the price we pay for sex, and then the sex stops, too, but we look at the calendar and think that we're better off putting up with it and having an occasional affair than to give up half or more of everything we've earned and a big chunk of our future earnings to get out of it and have a life. What a load of crap that turns out to be!

For starters, unless you are with some kind of parasite or predator, or someone with whom you are grossly mismatched and never should have married, life doesn't have to be like that at all. The truth is that she probably got bored at the same time you did, or even before, if she's like most women, and would love for things to be fun and exciting again. Women are nesting creatures, right?

They don't like crises that cause major changes in their life (like divorce!) any more than we do, even though you will see them craving the adrenaline it causes to combat their eternally-tormenting boredom. It is foolish, not to mention catastrophic, to let a little drama convince you that the average woman would destroy her household and her marriage just to get a little adrenaline rush.

According to the best information I've been able to find, only one in two thousand is that insanely damaged. Indeed, one of the ways in which men and women differ fundamentally is that women spend untold hours visualizing their future, and for many, the hardest part of a breakup is giving up that vision; it can be quite literally traumatic, so they don't tend to just throw in the towel without a very good reason.

And no, it's not easier to have an affair than to fix things with your wife if you have the foundation of a good marriage. That's a myth that I'd like to strangle somebody for propagating, not because I think everybody should be married, but because it's simply not true and has ruined so many marriages that could have been fixed. What does it take?

It doesn't take much at all! It takes knowing whether you have the foundation for a good relationship, which is a matter of answering a few questions that I have for you. It takes knowing how you and your wife differ as man and woman, and using those differences to enhance your relationship instead of allowing them to remain points of contention, competition, and frustration.

It takes learning three simple rules that govern all communication with a woman, and using them to hear things she's been telling you for years that you never knew you were being told. It takes shedding the "nice guy" programming that you're drowning in, and getting back to being the "real guy" that your Y-chromosome has set you up to be, strong, competent, fun, and feeling good about yourself.

It's the easiest process a man can go through, because it's a return from your current unnatural self to your natural self, and a process that gives you the answer to questions you've spent a lifetime thinking you'd never see answered, like "What do women really want?" and "What makes women tick?" not to mention "Why did she just get mad at me for answering her question?"

So what do you say? Are you comfortably unhappy? Are you ready to learn things you never thought possible to know and enjoy your life - and your wife - like you never thought possible? Start the new year right! Go now, right now, before you do another thing, to and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and see just how easy enjoying a great life can be!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!

David Cunningham

"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

1 Confessions Of A Serial Monogamist

Confessions Of A Serial Monogamist
I've been reading Mindy Kaling's hilarious memoir "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?", and I highly recommend it. It is HILARIOUS and well worth the read.

I just finished the chapter in which she talks about how she doesn't understand her friends who routinely have one-night stands:

I don't even mean sexual health safety, like STDs. I mean good old-fashioned life-and-death safety. Here's what I can't wrap my brain around. I barely talk to strangers (a habit that I started as a child and that has served me well through my adulthood). So the idea of going to a stranger's house at night, or having that stranger come over to my house, sounds insanely dangerous.

Mindy Kaling and I are two peas in a pod in that respect.

Here is a major disclosure: not only have I never had a one-night stand, but I've only kissed three boys (men) in my entire life. When I was allowed to start dating, I dated my first boyfriend my entire sophomore year of high school (kiss #1). Great guy. Grew up to be a fireman and has a wife and three kids, and we keep in touch on Facebook.

I met boyfriend number two shortly after boyfriend number one broke my heart, and we dated from my junior year of high school through my sophomore year of college (kiss #2). Also a great guy, he ultimately moved to Birmingham and now lives less than half a mile from us, coincidentally. He just got married last month, and we keep in touch by waving when we pass each other in the car.

Boyfriend number three (kiss #3) turned into husband number one, and we dated for my junior and senior years of college, and then got married three months after I graduated. I was 22, and now we've been married for 16 years!

I don't think I really realized how unusual that is until I started working at The Place Where I Work Now. One day about five years ago, the girls (women, I guess) were all standing around talking about how many men they'd been with, just while they were in college. And when I told them about how many guys I'd kissed, they all broke into stunned laughter. (They may still be laughing.)

At any rate, I suppose I DO come off as pretty sheltered, but that's the big number. THREE KISSES.

That sound you just heard was my dad releasing a sigh he wishes he could have exhaled back in the mid-90s.


0 The Writer And Self Esteem

The Writer And Self Esteem
Since "My Double Life "is coming out in three months, I've written a lot of emails to my editor, Tim, AKA the bow-tied one, about marketing stuff. (I want to hold some sort of celebrity look-alike contest, but more about that later.)

The bow-tied one didn't answer my emails for like, two months straight.

I admit right off that I'm a worrier. When I was first married, I had to have many talks with my husband about unexpectedly coming home late from work. My imagination kicked in at twenty minutes. By thirty minutes, I was planning his tearful funeral and trying to figure out how I would rebuild my shattered life. You just can't do that to a woman for very many days in the week.

Thank goodness for cell phones. Now I can call him when he's late. He doesn't pick up, but at least this way I can stop worrying about any demise that would also involve the vaporization of his cell phone.

I was okay at first when I didn't hear from Tim. I just figured he didn't want to talk marketing. But about the time that second month rolled around I started creating scenarios. Putnam was dropping me. He'd been fired. He was mad at me. He had cancer. The whole company was dissolving.

He finally called. I told him about my "dropping me-fired-mad-cancer-company dissolving "thoughts. "You shouldn't worry me like that," I told him. "Writers have vivid imaginations."

"Yeah," he said. "Vivid imaginations and low self-esteems. It's a deadly combination."

"Low self-esteem?" I repeated a bit aghast. "Nobody has ever told me I have low self-esteem."

"Well, they're not going to say it to your face," he said.

Apparently "they "wouldn't, but "he "would. This is just one more editorial service the bow-tied one offers.

I've thought about that conversation a lot lately. I don't think I have low self-esteem. Sure, I know I'm far from perfect. I could do a blog of all my faults. Heck, I could do a blog of all the things I've lost lately, and it would be a hefty list. (My Garmin, my car keys, my temper, the time.)

But that's one of the nice things about being a writer. I don't beat myself up over, say, being terminally disorganized. I just tell myself: I'm an "ARTIST". We're supposed to be different.

In general, I'm pretty happy with myself and life. I'll tell you my secret. I try not to concentrate on my achievements (which I think would depress anybody). Instead I aim for a clean conscience. It's amazing how awful I feel when I know I've done something wrong. I can't feel good about myself until I've at least tried to set it right. But when my conscience is clean, I like myself.

So I really wondered about Tim's comment about self-esteem. Did I have a poor self-esteem and I just didn't know it? Did everybody out there think a lot more of themselves than I did, and I'd just never noticed? Why was he so sure I had low self-esteem?

Then I left my old agent and went out into the harsh, cold cyber world to find a new one. Suddenly the writers and low self-esteem comment made sense. We're a bunch of people who pour our hearts into creating a story that we love. We not only do our utmost to create a nearly living breathing thing (at least it lives and breathes for us) but we quite literally put a slice of our mind and soul out there for people to judge.

And so many people find our best lacking. So many people find our souls not even worthy of their time.

What normal person could go through that repeatedly and not feel the pangs of a stabbed ego? Ditto for those revision comments that editors throw around like confetti at a Mardi Gras parade.

A normal person wouldn't subject themselves to this sort of treatment. Which leads me to believe that writers don't have low self-esteems. We're the ones with high self-esteems or we would have fled this business at the first rejection letter. Or the twelfth. Or the fiftieth. And certainly by that 1,000 revision comment. ("My Double Life "had 1,200)

Thankfully, I wasn't agentless for long. But to all of you in the trenches: hang in there, and hang on to those self-esteems. You're going to need them later.


Saturday, November 1, 2014

0 Ini Edo Ex Husband Describes The Actress As A Harlot

Ini Edo Ex Husband Describes The Actress As A Harlot
Ini Edo's Ex-Husband has accused the entertainer as a harlot. According to the ex-husband, i got the coincidental to meet her on Desmond Elliot's out of action the nook see in your mind's eye, i was support with even, wellbeing and the rest(that was 3 living ago..i think) and this madam came on set with the 'hey! i am ini edo, a reputation, who are you' attitude, she was disrespectful to any person on set especially if you are not a movie star. some group of fans call up the anxiety and take a turn up to her asking her the secret of her slim measure, (subsequently she was slim), the madam had the ghoul to say it is exercise, boo we all reveal itself you are on tablets, so stop deceiving yourself. source a gbon gbon big girl on set, who Helped Desmond to flog the settle on for the see in your mind's eye) was fed up with Ini Edo's uncaring attitude,told her not to put her legs on the bench, such as the persevere with wasn't hers, Oops! Ini Edo went off on her..."Explanation me?!, who do you think you are to tell me what to do?! i use top-quality better seats in my persevere with, infact desmond come to the car let me pay back your wake back (she drives a red range), i'm by means of with this see in your mind's eye, does she reveal itself who i'm? blah blah blah! that was how any person block me rushed to the car to pursue with her to come back, she voted for to come back on the come to rest that she would not be in the identical room with the lady.That why it is very facts to sham well in any spell and treat each person with respect, to her i was just a nil, a costumier, she most likely never caution i'd become blogger and come into this stuff someday *ShinesTeeth*so about being saucy, Ini Edo is the madam of that, she and Rukky Sanda sef. about the harlot part, i dont reveal itself oh, tho thought has it...i think i've believed too further, lol.Read top-quality purpose from Nollywood fillers:Nollywood fillers say Ini Edo who slightly not speaking from her hubby is not a happy womanThis came as a derivative of the way her hubby vocally abused her relations the same as of their marriage problem.Composed sources disclosed that Ini Edo's US-based ex-hubby told her relations that the Nollywood celeb is an harlot prematurely he common them to pay back her bride price.The begin angered Ini Edo who reportedly called her husband and gave him the libel of his life.As we speak, Ini Edo has been loot her new man to see in your mind's eye set in order to let people reveal itself she is now in a stable relationship that can lead to marriage.An untried source supposed that the entertainer is pregnant for her new lover. She reportedly held responsible her ex-hubby for her miscarriages and sense problem.

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