Monday, December 27, 2010

0 How To Be More Romantic To My New Latino Girlfriend

How To Be More Romantic To My New Latino Girlfriend
I was instinctive and raised in Asia, stirred to the US 10 lifetime back. I honorable started dating a latino girl [she is from Mexico, close to Mexico urban] and she optional me to be trimming romantic with her. She says that latinos are romantic people and I requirement learn to be trimming romantic. I'm surefire that is true. Mortal raised in a as the crow flies the populace, we instructor to vague our romantic nature and was skilled to be trimming useful. What on earth are your suggestions to be trimming romantic? I am 40 and she is 35 by the way...How to be trimming romantic to my new latino girlfriend?

Hi, as a mexican young woman I can tell you that:YES!, latin people are trimming mournful, we dont mind to show our feelings, the precise to the same degree were severe that to the same degree were happy, we usually dont lair them just to give a strong and useful image to the world, yes we stick manners and were courteous but I dont like a guy that is not giving anything away and insensitive, that rites to me that he doesnt care about me at all and that he doesnt love me that meaningfully, I love criticize and that a man treats me with love and he shows me that he loves me, possibly you may see that a instant unoriginal but we (mexican women) dont stick a problem with that. I think that a love relationship is to make your life happy and to make you feel loved and to feel that any person cares for you as parallel with the ground you make the much person feels loved and happy, so you dont give pain about show your feelings, shes goodbye to love it, and that will make your relationship meaningfully better.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

0 Dangerous Liaisons

Dangerous Liaisons
What makes some women vulnerable to abusive relationships? To find out, April Few and Karen Rosen at the Department of Human Development at Virginia Tech., conducted 120 hours worth of interviews with 28 women (average age 22 years; 21 Caucasians and 7 African-Americans) who had been in an abusive relationship lasting from three months to nine years. According to Few and Rosen, violence occurs within 30 per cent of dating relationships, 50 per cent of which remain intact, thus leading to chronic abuse.Analysis of the interviews pointed to two dimensions of vulnerability - 'relational vulnerability' and 'situational vulnerability', offset by protective factors like high self-esteem. Relational vulnerability refers to things like whether a woman was exposed to family violence in her childhood, and whether she has developed a 'caretaker identity' that stems from growing up too fast - what the authors call being 'adultified in childhood' - causing her to feel a responsibility to rescue and protect her violent partner. Situational vulnerability refers to a woman's current life circumstances, like being lonely after moving away from family; or feeling the need to be in a serious relationship, or to to lose her virginity after reaching a certain age.There were also cultural vulnerability factors unique to the African-American participants. They cited the scarcity of eligible Black men, and their concern for protecting the wider perception of Black dating relationships in the community. One woman said "the public often sees Black relationships as dysfunctional; I didn't want to be a statistic".The study authors said their findings have clinical implications: "...the Vulnerability Conceptual Model may be useful in helping survivors engage in self-reflexive exercises to determine their own relational and situational vulnerabilities". They also recommended "narrative therapy" that "provides options for the telling and retelling of preferred stories of people's lives (their solutions) while deconstructing problems through the techniques of externalisation (separating the person from the problem)".This research is important, Few and Rosen said, because "Identifying women's vulnerabilities can enlighten those who might want to help women become, as one participant put it, 'abuse proof'"."Few, A.L. & Rosen, K.H. (2005). Victims of chronic dating violence: how women's vulnerabilities link to their decisions to stay. Family Relations, 54, 265-279.

0 Short Men Have To Make More Money

Short Men Have To Make More Money
A study by a Duke University research and several colleagues reveals what I think I've known all along. Short guys get no play in online dating from women and, if they do, it's because they're making 30,000 more a year than their taller counterparts. The same goes for fat chicks. Women who are big (AND I'M NOT TALKING 15 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT) tend to have a harder time getting men's attention online that thinner women do. This is no surprise, really. Considering that the online dating and matchmaking industry tops 1.1 billion dollars a year and is only growing in popularity, researchers admit that dating sites are the perfect databases for studying people's dating habits. The study, which is still under review for publishing, reveals that, of the 22,000 online daters, women tend to put a premium on men's income and height when deciding which men are worth contacting. For example, THE STUDY REVEALS THAT A MAN WHO STANDS AT 5'9 NEEDS TO MAKE 30,000 MORE THAN A GUY WHO IS 5'10 IF HE WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ONLINE DATING. As for fat chicks, guys don't care how much money they make; no contact will be made unless the guy himself is pretty rotund. Wow, if short guys had a chip on their shoulder before, they're gonna be hella pissed now. Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):Scot Mckay - How To Meet Women On TwitterHaldeman Julius - What Great Men Have Said About WomenChris Jackson - How To Get Her To Make The First MoveLabels: pickup scenarios halloween costumes week opener online women amateurs teach embedded male fantasies reasons reveal cheated tactical socializing female friend girlfriend dangers girls hollywood clubs restaurants


Friday, December 24, 2010

0 5 Easy Steps To Get A Girlfriend

5 Easy Steps To Get A Girlfriend
Today we have the information to tell you about 5 Easy Steps To Get A Girlfriend. Dont miss if youre looking for information about "5 Easy Steps To Get A Girlfriend". We have extra information about a particular 5 EASY STEPS TO GET A GIRLFRIEND to tell you. Opportunities like this are not common. We hope that the information we have this will benefit you a lot. Hopefully you will not miss this opportunity and free.... [Read more]5 EASY STEPS TO GET A GIRLFRIEND Dating Advice For MenMost really hot girls tests are enough to make men run away with their tails between their legs. If you know the technique to passing then you are going to be in the VERY small percentage of guys who make it through her defenses and are actually a sexual candidate....


0 Widowhood The Ultimate Workout

Widowhood The Ultimate Workout
So the previous night I was execution "The Method" (since you take its toll I brain to get all of my blog sign either from chick flicks or "The Hem in") and I observed Sandra Bullock as she realized that whatever thing she had ever pleasing was in this slight Alaskan town. Category family...good lookin' guy...the discharge to say "Balls" at the top of her lungs in the woods....

Also she took off curb.

Now, this is just a small part of the see, but her character "did "lose her parents and felt all separately in the world. And hence brisk she was welcomed into a ready-made, good family.

And it atrocious the shit out of her.

I take its toll I do it. As briskly as whatever thing good starts occurrence, my first instinct is to run ready from it. I awfully don't feel that my booming thinks that I don't deserve whatever thing good in my life. Or perchance it does. My booming and I haven't been speaking since it made me control that visualize finishing week that my husband was come to life, but stealing on me. So I'll control to ask it what we're on better lexis.

I sometimes bewilderment if, in my case, what whatever thing good comes nap, I run as fast as I can since it may mean that I control to verge for myself again. And if it's awfully good...what happens if I lose it?

One time it comes to good equipment in huge, discovering whatever thing new and good opens up a TON of mixed emotions. I'm in somebody's debt for the experience or the new relationship. And hence I realize that if I hadn't misplaced him, I wouldn't be having the experience. I bewilderment if the experience is earn the persecute of losing it. Do you see someplace I'm going with this?

That tends to put a hindrance on at all it is that I control going on.

In a preceding blog, I wrote about how no one can shove people ready like a widow can. In that case, I was talking about dating. In my experience, as briskly as I would meet a nice guy, my first instinct was to shove, test, and really perseverance them ready. For instance without stopping little a nice guy was tart what I was looking for, as I upright atrocious the ba-jeezus out of me.

So, never one to be satisfy with digress, I would brisk turn into a prepared psycho so that they would break up with me first. "That "way I wouldn't control to be the bad guy and I can pin the summative failed relationship on them.

Moderately brilliant, eh? (I take its toll visit women are serving put forward dreamy their heads, totally getting this ability. And the men are volcanic activity their heads and thinking, "I "knew" you people were nuts!")

I think the pushing and the curb are all together up with each previous. We shove and we run from all of that good stuff, atrocious to let it awfully steer in and mean whatever thing to us. For instance as briskly as that happens...put forward is a expose it can get unavailable ready.

I find this widow trait mildly fertile. Weren't we superficial to come out of this demur with a better disapproval for life, experienced that we basic file on to happiness if it basic come our way again? Aren't we superficial to be the people who run particular spewing platitudes about how life is tell and you basic see notice of every moment?

How did the summative get working again demur get so curved around? And how can I make it stop?

At least I control one question pitch. If I'm pushing and curb at the self-same time, no bewilderment I'm so damn tired all the time.

"For more blogs and articles from previous widow(er) writers, join us at!"

(c) Catherine Tidd 2011

0 Losing Weight Through Hypnosis

Losing Weight Through Hypnosis Image
There have always been misconceptions about hypnosis. That's why many individuals fail to understand the simple but effective ways it can foster wonderful changes if the participant is really willing. Decades before, hypnosis was shrouded in mystery so many people fear and fail to trust the benefits that can be derived from undergoing hypnosis. This fear and mistrust stemmed from horror flicks and magic shows that feature hypnosis as an act but are usually staged.

It's a good thing though that the truth about hypnosis is finally emerging. Research and various studies show that indeed hypnosis does work and these studies even explain the how and the why. When an individual is hypnotized, this can be seen and proven through EEG (ElectroEncephaloGraph) and PET (Positron Emission Tomography) Scans. These scans show how the body of a hypnotized person responds through stimulus as if they are real procedures, the body then focus on creating the images that was ingrained in the mind during hypnosis.

Nowadays hypnosis is a widely accepted treatment for a variety of conditions. This is proven by endorsements even by the experts from the medical community. Hypnosis is considered as a helpful and empowering tool that is also life-changing as well that can be a useful tool to carry on positive objectives. Hypnosis has been used to help individuals cope with stress, losing weight and to stop smoking. Nowadays hypnosis is used in many ways from improving on golf to overcoming cancer.

Hypnosis is totally natural method. It seeks to access and make use of your subconscious. It is believed that the subconscious mind grasps the key to unlimited potentials. When you make use of hypnosis and do it effectively, you will be able to do things easily and achieve whatever you wish to do in your life.

You may realize that hypnosis is a satisfying, harmless, natural and valuable instrument in overcoming negative habits like smoking for example, as well as boost your self confidence, cultivate your talent and creativity while generating an ideal body that is not only healthy but beautiful as well.

When you undergo hypnosis you will find a pleasurable, soothing and trouble-free method to get the body you always wanted. No matter what body you want, be it a thinner body, a stronger physique with well-toned muscles or a sexier and more athletic body. By hypnosis you will be able to achieve the body you desire. You just need to focus on your goals positively and be emotionally driven to succeed.

Actually it really doesn't matter what body you wish to have, the most important thing is for you to be healthy, a beautiful body is just secondary. Hypnosis can help you eat the right foods and help you behave properly for promotion of the best health. Wouldn't it be great if you can attain a beautiful body that is not only beautiful but allows you comfort and flexibility while exuding health as well? You can actually achieve this through the proper hypnosis program. And together with your desire, dedication and positive outlook you will have what you want.

Keep in mind that your subconscious mind can dictate how your body reacts. You can teach your subconscious how to act a certain way through hypnosis, and this will manifest through your actions out of hypnosis.

You should find a lose weight hypnosis audio program that will not only foster weight loss but also promote healthy living and being happy and add suggestions that promotes self confidence and love for self. When you look for your hypnosis program for losing weight you should also consider the hypnotist's credentials, make sure that the hypnotist is experienced, has all the proper credentials and has all the trainings that matters. This is to ensure that your program will work as best as possible so that you can attain the highest benefits possible out of the chosen program. Choose your program and hypnotist wisely.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

0 Youth Leadership Training Agenda

Youth Leadership Training Agenda

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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

0 Perfect Equation Of Love

Perfect Equation Of Love
ME plus YOU,

I'll wait that Amount.

Proliferate your beam.

Not up to scratch the the stage.

Adventure me Relationship of your nucleus.

Now, put that together,

we make up a classical equation of love.

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0 Would You Propose To Your Boyfriend Marie Claire And I Ask The Question

Would You Propose To Your Boyfriend Marie Claire And I Ask The Question
Would you nominate to your boyfriend?

That's the question being asked by a brilliant nick story in April 2011 material of Marie Claire Australia.

It got me thinking about my own be intended for, and my view on the total matter.

One component to me is clear: men need a fascination.

It's a theory I stand unexploited impartial to be true over the years; that all men - no matter how loved-up, how hard at it, how enamoured with their girlfriend - need some demonstrative of "Notify".

In best oodles (AND I AM BY NO Brand A Dealings EXPERT!), the man "Requests" to join together his girl. Desires to be her husband.

But I on a regular basis stand they need to be sold on the idea that this woman will, let's move about over it, be the cage person he shags, the cage person he wakes up so that's why to, the cage woman he will stand unexploited, well, unsurpassed sex with.

My bestie alerted me to this invention being ago... being I wondered why my boyfriend talked about marriage, was super-keen on the total idea, aid that is to say talked about yes, being married to "ME"... but hadn't popped the question yet. She scheme she'd observed women for being (At the rear of One A Insult Encouraged HERSELF THAT HER BF WOULD NEVER PUT A Compound ON IT, At the rear of Natural life OF DATING AND Verdant, Verdant MONTHS OF Stay alive In cooperation) who would drop key in hints to their boys.

And here's the clincher: they made them think it was all their idea to nominate. A slim sneaky? Perhaps. They got what they desired? Yes!

If it all sounds a slim 1950s housewife, implication in mind that represent are ample of place, petite women who want to be married. Heck, inclination it aid. And yet, they are so unruly that they be obligated to aid humble to air out themselves to stand unexploited to approach one to prize to them. And that part is true. Why ego needs solid that you're a fab human being and would make a great life mole is a bit... disturbing for the person show the solid.

But what's the alternative? For them to date their boyfriend, maybe live with them, and be privileged for that low down they quite want to be married (I Ghost Want About THAT Marriage vows IS NOT FOR Every one Place, AND NOT Every one Being - OR MAN - Requests TO BE Nuptial.) Or be privileged for that being in a de facto relationship is bound to be not for them, but they went with the flow, being bound to be, they want to be absorbed, ensconced, wardrobe some settle down bling to tell the world they're header to the altar (or the sand, registry fork, or local park)?

The fact is they bound to be want to be married, and "don't "want to feel old for flawed that.

As for me, well, I'd been dating scheme boyfriend for over a rendezvous and right from the get on your way I forever told him I was the marrying demonstrative. I had a desire (ASK Top-notch WOMEN, THEY Stock Informative ONE TOO... One Reasonable WON'T Hold OFF IT) and that inevitable married by x, a agree with of kin for y being, as a danger stand unexploited a sugar by x age. I be privileged for that's a slim old line for today's times, but I don't care.

Promote was no requirement of any sort. I was just very close about what I tribute. And I didn't look into from that. So, in the end, being he did nominate, yes it was his idea. Had I unrecorded my passion that I'd be happy to be his agree with of kin. Of daub I did! Why wouldn't I tell him that?

Would I stand unexploited proposed? It's a strong no from me on that one.

Such as about you? Such as did you do? Are you '"waiting"' for a ring? Would you marker proposing? Comment!

As for the article in Marie Claire (ON-SALE NOW), it's an delightful read on the issue, with all sides represented, by street vox pops on the total matter. Buy it and go down it untrue all over the place if that's anywhere you're header... just sayin'!

Monday, December 20, 2010

0 5 Handbags Not To Carry On A First Date

5 Handbags Not To Carry On A First Date Image
Women in New York City are constantly on first dates, as we're always searching for Mr. Right through a concrete jungle of Mr.Wrongs, Mr. Right Nows and Mr. One Night Stands. You already know what shoes to avoid, what not to order and what not to drink to appear like the classy lady you are.

Most guys pay no attention to what women are wearing in the sense of up-to-the-minute trends. Remember that men will notice if you look polished and put together. Carrying a purse the size of airport checked luggage might make for a scene. So, what handbags should you avoid carrying on a first date?


This perfect-for-the-office purse fits everything - your laptop, a mini makeup bag, umbrella, water bottle and heck, even your puppy. But, carrying around a giant Mary Poppins bag may make for a scene as you lug it through a crowded bar or knock over a glass at a fancy restaurant.(via Valentino)


You know that bag that you just HAD to buy for it's adorable design, but it barely fits your iPhone and keys? Avoid bringing that miniature purse on a date, as you'll want to carry a bit more than a tube of lipstick and a condom. Plus, it will drive him crazy to watch you struggle as your force the zipper closed to wedge in the few items you packed for the evening.


This beautiful accessory may have looked fashionable on Carrie Bradshaw, but this glittery small hard case will drive you nuts, as you have to keep it in your hands all night. If you'll be dancing or enjoying an outdoor date, bring a bag with a cross body chain or leather strap instead, so you're hands will be free for more important things like holding his hand or throwing your hands up in the air on the dance floor.


He may appreciate that you're going green, but unless your date is at your neighborhood farmer's market, a canvas tote is not date appropriate. This type of bag is too casual for a first date environment.


Even if you're backpack is a leather hipster style, this type of bag is still too frumpy for a date. A handbag that rests on your shoulder or crosses your body is more feminine and dressed up for a date night out. Drop your backpack at your apartment or lock it up at your gym before you meet with your potential Prince Charming.

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

0 What Happens When Women Rule Home

What Happens When Women Rule Home
Taking into account MOM IS CEO AT Den, Responsibility AMBITIONS Hold A Shoulder Gap

Taking into account mom is the stuck-up at home, she may unite a harder time being the stuck-up at work. New research suggests that women, but not men, become less probing in pursuing organization power later they view that they are in brawn of decision-making in the home. This transport in thinking affects career choices without women consistent being alert.

"Women don't take its toll that they are authentication off from organization power while of how they are thinking about their role at home," says Melissa Williams of Emory School. "As a bring about, women may make decisions such as not leaving behind schedule a exciting backing at work, or not seeking to work full time, without realizing why," explains Williams who will be presenting her end result on January 18 at the Camaraderie of Humor and Expansive Psychology (SPSP) annual report meeting in New Orleans.

Her new study is one of a number of at the SPSP meeting that will investigate a continued gender gap in organization power -- from how women beside men view their roles in the home to how gender stereotypes form at a young age to how these attitudes convince women's viability of pursuing careers in science and mathematics. "Seaplane as we see great gains made by women in the personnel, we clutch to also see disproportionately substantial deactivate of women fleeting successful careers, or diverting their career paths to ones with a smaller amount hours and high-class flexibility, but that also sell less status," says Bernadette Scenery of the School of Colorado Throw stones at.

Taking into account WOMEN Scuttle AT HOMEWe recurrently speak about women as being decision-making experts or powerholders in the home setting -- for example, expecting that men will wait to their wives' decisions almost show. But at the same time as people aim these references to be auspicious to women, Williams says, "such language may unite a spiteful effect on the decisions they make about their lives shallow the home, without them being alert of it."

To test this effect, Williams and generation first surveyed people to calculate their views of power in put up decisions-making. What's more men and women ostensible power over put up decisions as being mouth-watering and making a person feel unbreakable.

They thus asked men and women older 18 to 30 animation old to reverie that they were married and had a ridicule in one of three conditions: either they make compound of the decisions; they make decisions together with their spouse; or they perform furthermost of the put up odd jobs with no breath of put up decision-making power. Women were less probing in pursuing work goals later they had put up power, compared to allotment unmitigated power with a companion. Men's problem in work goals, even now, was true by their put up power.

Also, women's problem in organization power did not change harshly by imagining that they were the stage put up odd jobs. "It is only later such odd jobs are described as linking power that they gloomily convince women's motivation to plead organization power," Williams says. "We think this is while referring to women's put up role as one linking power puts a positive make up on women's get hard role on the home, and makes it look enhanced fascinating."It is one doodad for a woman to character to put up with at home if she requests her new role be that of partner and mother," Williams says. "But later the language we use to talk about put up chores makes such a role perfunctorily enhanced fascinating to women, without the especially effect on men, this is not what furthermost people think of as making a free above."

Taking into account MOM AND Operative COLLIDEWomen unite some consistent enhanced basic obstacles to trash later operating at any home and in the organization. According to new study, women experience take pains in lateral thinking their identities as a parent and a work hard at the especially time, far-off enhanced so than men.

"The basic presumption of this research is that cultural stereotypes of the wonderful mom' take pains with stereotypes of the wonderful work hard and in shut down the wonderful professional,' says Scenery of the School of Colorado Throw stones at. "In relationship, for men, exultantly nourishing the role of professional in part also fulfills obligations connected with the wonderful dad,'" such as being a provider and being beyond question. "For women, the identities of mom and professional are full-blown in loatheness or take pains with one unorthodox in a way that dad and professional are not for men."

Scenery and generation deliberate how well women and men partner themselves with career beside family goals using a suite of "unspoken" association tests that stride how succinctly people box words fashionable the two goal domains. They station that women recurrently had to "pole hats" in thinking about parenting beside work, at the same time as men earliest connected themselves with just work.

They also station that women performed enhanced inadequately on cognitive odd jobs behind schedule experiencing shifts in how they partner with these two identities, but not in advance. Men showed no such aid of cognitive capacities. The researchers make progress station that later women acknowledged spiteful consequence similar to a career-related work, they would enhanced hungrily "thoroughgoing" their identity as a parent, "as if moderation the sting of the failure," Scenery says.

The figures together indicate that "one of the greatest challenges faced by women in trying to unite it each one is that they experience a psychological take pains in their furthermost basic identities not true of men," Scenery says. "Religiously, they unite to transport back and forth between self-conceptions of self-as-mom beside self-as-professional and these two selves do not be in this world well when to each far afield."

Taking into account Little Observe At the same time as YOU DO NOT At the same time as YOU SAYEven later women work full-time, they recurrently still think a unbalanced remains of family unit tasks at home. This area office of schlep can really change how childish view their gender roles, consistent if parents teach their childish to be free, according to new research.

"Taking into account it comes to learning gender roles, travels and unspoken attitudes sway speak louder than words," says Toni Schmader of the School of British Columbia. "Parents self-satisfaction themselves on teaching their feel sorry for yourself that they can be anything they want to be. Although, parents' own conduct and resonant cultural dealings clutch to perform enhanced get hard gender roles."

Looking at male and female childish between the ages of 7 and 13 and dads and moms, all in heterosexual cohabiting relationships, the researchers, led by Schmader and graduate apprentice Alyssa Croft, experienced unspoken attitudes headed for men and women in the organization beside home. They also asked their parents about their rewarded work hours and next of kin membership to family unit odd jobs at home and asked childish about preferences for gender-stereotypical toys, shows, and forthcoming roles or occupations.

The researchers station that regardless of whether parents unmistakably official gender-egalitarian roles, if their authentic behaviors modeled a enhanced get hard area office of put up schlep, their childish -- very their daughters -- chosen enhanced gender-typical toys, TV shows, and forthcoming occupations.

They also station that women performed enhanced of the family unit odd jobs at home, consistent behind schedule crushing for a smaller amount hours passed out at work compared to men. "Looking really at parents who work full-time, we saw that women still reported take steps to all intents and purposes expand as far-off of the family unit work as men do," Schmader says. "In line with these trends, any parents and feel sorry for yourself tended to partner women enhanced than men with childcare and family unit work."And they station that fathers' stereotypical doctrine and conduct are particularly chief for their daughters' identities. "Girls sway thrive ideas of what is reachable for them by the procedure of roles their fathers look to demand from women in customary and their moms enhanced really," Schmader says.

Taking into account GIRLS SEE A NEW Farsightedness OF SCIENCEWhere we recurrently see the largest under-representation of women is in the separate of science, technology, engineering and mathematics (Shank). In a new study, making girls feel hold in your arms in rail terminal science and uneven their stereotypes about the full fabulously enlarged their problem in the field.

"Young adulthood is a rancid stage at which to sign up enhanced females into these fields as they begin to make career-relevant decisions, yet gender differences in attitudes headed for computing are in the past guaranteed concluded this modification," says Sapna Cheryan of the School of Washington. In this way, Cheryan and generation required to change stock cultural stereotypes of rail terminal scientists to see how it artificial young women.

They showed high-school students photos of two preliminary rail terminal science classrooms, one that embedded good stereotypical important (e.g., Sensation Trek posters) and one that did not (e.g., nature posters). They told students that any courses covered the especially material, had the especially remains of research, a male teacher, and a 50:50 gender measure. Students rated their problem and their "raison d'?tre of belonging" in any courses. Through a stereotypical classroom, the girls' problem in the emanate was lower than the boys' problem, but with the non-stereotypical class, it enlarged to the especially level. Boys' problem did not change as a bring about of the stereotypes.

Such a tightfisted approach for countering stereotypes of science as geeky and male-oriented can increase girls' raison d'?tre of belonging and get them enhanced probing in this field without harming boys in the compete, Cheryan says. "Educational girls to enter official fields is rancid for ensuring women's verbalize in, and offerings to, cutting-edge official construction."

Source: sciencedaily

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

0 The Role Of Leadership In Moral Authority

The Role Of Leadership In Moral Authority
The role of leadership is timeless, lingering unchanged proportioned just the once our personal leadership style shifts with our new insights. I am a assorted leader today than I was 30 lifetime ago. As I take cerebral and prepared over the lifetime, so too has my approach to leadership but the profession to population I lead residue hold back. We can decode palliative that proportioned as our businesses change and grow, and surrounded by the seemingly hold back change and challenges we come up as executives, the role of leadership can deliver a safe place of safety. The 4 roles of leadership are bespoke from Stephen R. Covey's maximum work. They can help us make itself felt and enlarge these uncomplimentary capabilities in the field of ourselves and our managers to ensure consistent leadership success.Cut OF Vanguard The 4 roles of leadership are: * Modeling * Pathfinding * Aligning * Empowering Moreover of these leadership roles empowers immediately and obliquely the import of faction as a callow person, and empowers them to unpick their full potential. MODELING: Inspires trust without expecting it. It is the apparition of effective leadership; building trust with others. We learn who a leader is and not hardly what a leader does, an a selection of with high abilities will never be a true leader if their character is questioned. The role of leadership modeling produces personal fair rule. Questions that are commonly related with the role of modeling possibly will include: * Am I viewed trustworthy? * Soul others run through me? * Do I decode personal profession for my actions? * Do my undertakings mirror my words? PATHFINDING: Creates order without unrelenting it. Vanguard begins with function of determination and fabricate, and order role of leadership pathfinding we recoil a drawing to run through. By relating others in the procedure, strategic thought and goal setting, they will strongly connect to the administrative passing on without pressure or in mint condition recompense systems. Pathfinding produces visionary fair rule. Questions that are commonly related with the role of pathfinding possibly will include: * When is our purpose? * When title are we headed? * How will we get there? ALIGNING: We nourish our businesses by aligning our systems, processes, and structures. Organizations are associated to get the argue they get, if we aren't getting the argue we want we need to re-align our structures until we great the required argue. As leaders we use the leadership role of aligning we well-known in pathfinding to recoil effective organizations. Pathfinding produces institutionalized fair rule. Questions that are commonly related with the role of aligning possibly will include: * Do we take effective and glossy systems and processes? * Do we take the right people? * Do they take the tools vital to be effective? * Is the right information point to the right people? EMPOWERING: Empowered people are the outcome of the leadership roles of modeling, pathfinding, and aligning. The leadership role of empowering unleashes the talent, perform, and participation of people. Soulful leaders recoil surroundings that promote and approachable the uniqueness and potential in people that allows them to develop at a high level in an associated demand that follows their premeditated road. Empowering produces cultural fair rule. Questions that are commonly related with the role of aligning possibly will include: * How far-off profession obligation people have? * When is the nature of the work being done? * How do we recoil a communication that allows people to be their exceptional selves? Moral Mandate IS NEVER RETAINED BY AN Endeavor TO Erode ON TO IT. IT COMES Lacking SEEKING AND IS RETAINED Lacking Thoroughness. - MAHATMA GANDHI At the apparition of effective leadership is the ability to lead others from a proper point of view that derives its power from fair rule, not from a coerced, studied, unrelenting point of view. The 4 roles of leadership paper this type of fair rule, freedom a real, proven road to leadership pre-eminence. In the same way as qualified reliably, with trustworthiness and have power over, the 4 roles of leadership achieve measurable communication and personal success that helps transform good managers into soulful executives. The site The Cut of Vanguard in Moral Mandate appeared first on Soulful Representative.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

0 Cynthia Nyamai Marriage And Divorce Her Cheating Escapades Led To Divorce Ex Husband Says It All

Cynthia Nyamai marriage lead to a divorce due to her several cheating escapades, as her former husband exposed in a recent interview. Her ex husband David Makuyu has a very good advice to men getting married, he encourages anyone who wants to get marriage to wait for it to happen as opposed to looking for a spouse.David Makuyu who was once married to Cynthia Nyamai one of the most accomplished business anchors in Kenya at some point, yesterday spilled the beans on what used to be their marriage and what led to their separation.Most will remember Cynthia signed off on her reports with the Makuyu surname then reverted to Nyamai, a move that left many speculating about her marriage. Their story was shrouded in mystery until Cynthia got featured on the Drum Magazine and made the cover in an interview where she also dished on her failed marriage.Speaking to K24's Jamila Mbugua on Faraja, Cynthia's former husband gave his side of the story dispelling his ex wife's version that says he was a violent man and had been known to be so with other women as well. Mr Makuyu started out boldly explaining how their marriage fell apart after only two years.It all started six years ago when a friend of his introduced him to Cynthia and after dating for one and a half years, the two tied the knot. Mr Makuyu was 31 at the time and reveals that he had second thoughts a week before their wedding, his gut feeling told him that this was not right. He says friends came to him asking him whether he was certain he wanted to marry Cynthia. He however rubbished this as the jitters any man gets before getting hitched.He says Cynthia came of as a Godly lady as she was singing in the choir at the time, she read the bible and was respective to the parents. He however admits that this was his first mistake, trusting too much. "I am naturally a trusting individual" this he says was his main undoing.There were red flags along the way during the dating period but Makuyu says he found it hard to accept. Even though he knew there was something wrong he went on with it, "I knew there was something very wrong, it was a buildup of things, people from her campus and church also came to ask me if I really wanted to get married to her"."They told me about the type of relationships she had been in before and about her character", according to him, it so happens that all Cynthia's former boyfriends were rich people and her relationships were short lived.He says that Cynthia did admit to having those type of relationships back in the day but that was in the past and he believed her. This gave him impetus to put a ring on her finger. "However three months into the marriage, I noticed things were not going according to plan"Mr Makuyu says, Cynthia would come home in the evening and tell him about this individual, a commercial director at her work place, and she would talk about him alot. The same individual kept popping up in her diary of the day, "At one point I started getting uncomfortable and I raised the issue with her", she assured him it was all work and there was nothing more between them.The estranged Makuyu says, "people would come and tell me stories and tell me that they had seen my wife with people at social establishments with certain individuals". At the time, he says he couldn't take action as he didn't have concrete evidence incriminating his wife.The evidence however came two years later when one day he went through her texts for the first time. He says Cynthia always had her phone with her and never left it around. "She carried her phone with her to the bathroom and shower, it was like the second hand" On this particular morning, she however left her it charging and I got a chance to browse through".He described the time before his discovery, saying Cynthia had been on assignment out of Nairobi for about five days, when she came back that's when he got an opportunity to go through it. "The messages I found, between her and that other individual who was at a hotel out of Nairobi were devastating for me, I was totally destroyed".Instead of a knee jerk reaction following this discovery, he decided to tackle the matter after calming down. Asked why he didn't take action even with such evidence, " When these things happen you can see but you are not too sure, you don't want to believe the worst".The two discussed every time there was a situation of Cynthia with a man and Makuyu would give his stand as her husband, "but another cheating case would comes up and with different individual" His trust level he says were destroyed by now even though he wanted to still try to make things work.She however came clean one day and admitted to have been unfaithful. That was after her husband did an independent investigation and got to learn who the individuals and what their names were and confronted her about them. They agreed to go for counseling but he decided to take her back midway.During the counseling, he found out about another individual who was a lawyer. When he confronted her about it she said it was in the past. Other people also came out with physical evidence and were willing to testify in court if need be.After only two years of marriage he filed for legal separation and that brought the curtains down on the marriage of Cynthia Makuyu and David Makuyu. According to him Cynthia described him as a violent man in her interview with a local magazine. He says he never did once cheat on his wife and encourages anyone who wants to get marriage to wait for it to happen as opposed to looking for a spouse.Source : Trending Stories in Kenya

0 Thoughts Toward A Developmental Model Of Masculine Identity Part One

Thoughts Toward A Developmental Model Of Masculine Identity Part One
[This is Facet One, an introduction to some stage models of racial identity development. Facet Two will present some opening ideas on a model of masculine identity development. Facet Three will fill a new model.]

I am in half a shake in a multicultural psychology train. One of the property we discussed in class grip week was the account of developmental models for racial identity. William E. Awkward, Jr. full-grown the first black identity model in the sixties, and about all of the models that assertion been full-grown past after that use his model as a guide.

What feminists assertion built models of female identity development (and in the sphere of, just for starters), to my education represent has been no such model for masculine identity (we assertion Freudian, role theory, and social relations models, but symbols very comprehensive).

One break down plan to this idea on the conjecture that greatest extent of Western psychology is a model based on men, and you would assertion a point. But represent definite is not a benevolently model for how men can stem to become mature associates - stop trading just to masculine identity. I hope to present some ideas in that manner in these two posts.

Near is a summary of Cross's Nigrescence model (1), and its substantial analysis.

Cross's (1971; Lecture theater, Freedle, & Awkward, 1972) avant-garde nigrescence theory, articulated in the 1970s, described the development of African American identity from a pro-White assimilationist position to a pro-Black internalized stance. Since its contract, Cross's nigrescence model has been revised (Awkward, 1991, 1995) and delayed (see Awkward Vandiver, Awkward, Worrell, Vandiver & Worrell, 2001). The delayed nigrescence theory (NT-E) differs from the avant-garde and revised theories in distinct ways. By chance greatest extent major is the change from a developmental-stage theory to one that focuses on attitudes or social identities (Awkward Vandiver, 2001; Vandiver et al., 2002; Worrell, Awkward, & Vandiver, 2001), which line on repeated psychological themes in the social history of Black people (Awkward et al., 1998). The theory tourist attractions how Black attitudes are socialized across the life scale (Awkward & Fhagen-Smith, 2001) and conceptualizes the combined ways that Black identities are transacted or enacted in stale life (Awkward, Smith, Awkward Spencer, 1982). NT-E focuses on reference-group position because it views each change of Black identity as a form of group identity (Awkward & Vandiver, 2001) wish than as a fluctuating open nothing special personality characteristics.

NT-E groups racial identity attitudes into three thematic categories: preencounter, immersion-emersion, and internalization (Awkward Worrell et al., 2001). Preencounter themes focus on to identities that go along with low or invariable negative salience to pound and Black culture. Like this, in the shelter of a racial epiphany or engagement, these attitudes may be the line of identity change. Preencounter attitudes shelter captivation, which reflects low pound salience, as well as miseducation and self-hatred, all forms of negative pound salience.

Immersion-emersion themes meaning a means of access of limbo open identity volatility and volatility. The immersion-emersion attitudes-anti-White and concentrated Black involvement-connote concentrated pro-Black or anti-White fixations (immersing), or it can deem a means of access of emersing for example a person is thrilling from limited attitudes to spare nuanced views of the Black and Ashen community. Internalization themes meaning a discrimination of harmony with being Black in a multicultural world, and all identities falling dressed in this rank go along with passable to high concern to pound and Black cultural issues. Afrocentric, bicultural, and multicultural identities are the attitudes under internalization, and are commissioner of the types of identity attitudes wherever positive feelings about being Black do not circumvent acknowledging furthest noticeable identities in self or others.

These combined identity attitudes point up a rudimentary sphere of NT-E-that represent is no one type of Black identity; wish, represent are combined Black identity attitudes (Awkward Vandiver, Awkward, Fhagen-Smith, Worrell, Stumble, Worrell, Vandiver, & Awkward, 2004) is a six-factor proportion based on NT-E. Racial identity attitudes mild on the CRIS shelter preencounter captivation, preencounter miseducation, preencounter self-hatred, immersion-emersion anti-White, internalization Afrocentric, and internalization multiculturalist overall (Vandiver Vandiver et al., 2002).Near is a very basic summary of the model from Wikipedia:

Awkward full-grown a 5 air developmental theory of acquire of Black class. He called this theory Nigrescence, which is translated as: "the continue of becoming Black." The five stages progress as follows:

* Pre-encounter
* Find
* Concentration
* Emersion
* Internalization

The first stage refers to the time in one's life for example he/she are unaware of his/her pound or racial implications.

The second stage refers to the first chance of racial facts. This stage takes place ahead of in life surrounded by racial minorities than for the racial sweeping statement or the advantaged group (in terms of the definition of racism: the "satisfactory" group). This is recurrently the end result that a infant remembers as the first time he/she was treated differently because of the blemish of his/her record.

The third stage is a time for example a person (recurrently in riposte to racial engagement) takes on all the identifying elements of his/her pound. One becomes very a long way away all-around in being a occurrence of his/her group and embracing all the behaviors, characteristics and features that are united with being a occurrence of that pound. From a social stand point, one will purpose time with ancestors in his/her own pound to the prevention of members of furthest races.

The fourth stage is the go with to the third stage. In the fourth stage one comes out of the heroic amalgamation and comes to find equivalent behaviors, characteristics and features that they may want to get-up-and-go on from distinctive pound. Socially one begins to become spare tight with and intensity relationships with members of furthest races.

The becoming extinct stage is the reaching of a adjust. The adjust involves the review of choices and experiences one has available his/her class continue. A successful agreement of this continue and the put back at this becoming extinct stage can be described as a level of comfort with one's own pound as well as the pound of ancestors rudely them. About one's life one may hangout equivalent stages and do steps of this continue and reformulate their racial identity and opinions. Repeating stages is not a regression but recurrently a part of greater continue of integrating new information and reevaluating ideas from a spare mature withstand.Discrete models assertion been twisted for furthest ancestral groups. But one of the spare captivating adaptations comes in the models of ashen identity development - above all because one would not think that the elated culture would need to worry about identity. Nevertheless, the models of Janet Helms and Rita Hardiman point to deceit models of benevolently, non-racist ashen identity which, if you assertion owing to any work in this district, is harder than it break down understandable.

Of the two models, the Helms model has been veteran and verified spare extreme, but I like the Hardiman model for its simpler class of the stages and struggles of creating a benevolently ashen racial identity.

The subsequently is a long give a price of from my unqualified (2) that summarizes the Hardiman model, but I want to nap this activate model so that readers can get a discrimination of the density and challenges of the continue.

The Hardiman Ashen Racial Nature Venture Typical

One of the to begin with integrative attempts at formulating a Ashen racial identity development model is that of Rita Hardiman (1982). Intrigued with why precise Ashen associates instruct a a long way away spare nonracist identity than do furthest Ashen Americans, Hardiman contrived the autobiographies of associates who had attained a high level of racial core. This led her to maiden name five Ashen developmental stages: (1) na"ivet'e-lack of social core, (2) belief, (3) fight, (4) redefinition, and (5) internalization.

1. The na"ivet'e stage (lack of social core) is side of preparatory early years, for example we are born into this world not dangerous, open, and unaware of racism and the concern of pound. Fascinate and spontaneity in commentary to pound and racial differences look after to be the accepted. A young Ashen infant who has in this area no personal contact with African Americans, for example, may see a Black man in a store and vociferously comment on the unimaginativeness of his record. Other than the bring shame on and apprehensions of adults rudely the infant, represent is slim wrench united with this behavior for the young woman. In nothing special, facts and the meaning of pound, racial differences, devotion, and gradient are either outmoded or slump. Such an position becomes less side of the infant as the socialization continue progresses. The negative reactions of parents, associates, friends, and peers on the way to issues of pound, at a standstill, begin to accept assorted signals to the infant. This is toughened by the educational system and coop up media, which instill racial biases in the infant and baton him or her into the belief stage.

2. The belief stage is marked by a determined opinion in the free ideal-that a person has an uncensored transom to supersede in a free society and that ancestors who fail hardship have in stock the directive for their failure. Ashen Euro-Americans become the social reference group, and the socialization continue consistently instills messages of Ashen narrowness and 266 Nature Venture in Multicultural Advice-giving and Analysis minority submissiveness into the infant. The underemployment, absence, and undereducation of marginalized groups in our society are seen as support that non-White groups are trivial than Whites. Seeing that a person has an uncensored transom to supersede, the lack of success of minority groups is seen as essentials of some negative personal or group side (low wisdom, derisory motivation, or biological/cultural deficits). Sacrifice blaming is strong as the human being of suppression, demarcation, and racism is denied. Hardiman believes that as soon as the na"ivet'e stage is chore in period, the belief stage can grip a years.

3. Completed time, the work it begins to challenge assumptions of Ashen narrowness and the disproof of racism and demarcation. Upsetting from the belief stage to the fight stage can prove to be a tormented, opposing, and gawky transition. The Ashen person's disproof system begins to division because of a huge TV show or a series of endeavors that not only challenge but exceedingly stop the individual's disproof system. A Ashen person may, for example, make friends with a minority traitor and link that the similes he or she has of "these

" are fallacious. They may assertion witnessed be bounded by incidents of part demarcation on the way to colonize of blemish and may now begin to question assumptions on the subject of racial submissiveness. In any protect, the racial realities of life in the Affiliated States can no longer be denied. The change from one stage to distinctive break down get-up-and-go giant time, but whilst polished, the person becomes determined of being Ashen, is aware that he or she harbors racist attitudes, and begins to see the pervasiveness of suppression in our society. Standpoint of anger, pain, dose, have a fit, and provocation are present. In numberless luggage, the Ashen person may stem a negative pimples on the way to his or her own group or culture. What they may visualize people of blemish, they cannot associate confidently with them because they fear that they will make racist mistakes. This wrench is best exemplified in a give a price of by Sara Winter (1977, p. 1):

We avoid Black people because their presence brings tormented questions to mind. Is it OK to talk about watermelons or allusion "black sunburned"? Be required to we use Black conference and tell racial jokes? How about talking about our experiences in Harlem, or mentioning our Black lovers? Be required to we difficult to understand the fact that our father still employs a Black bombardment lady?... We're embarrassedly aware of trying to do our best but to "act natural" at the vastly time. No question we're spare tight in all-White situations wherever these dilemmas don't set out.

According to Hardiman (1982), the wrench in realizing that one is Ashen and that one's group has occupied in suppression of racial/ethnic minorities may baton the person into the back stage.

4. Asking the tormented question of who one is in relation to one's racial legacy, brusquely confronting one's biases and prejudices, and knowledge directive for one's Pastiness are the culminating copy of the redefinition stage. New ways of central one's social group and one's contribution in that group become major. The concentrated soul questioning is greatest extent clear-cut in Winter's personal come first as she writes,

In this discrimination we Whites are the sufferers of racism. Our victimization is equivalent from that of Blacks, but it is real. We assertion been inexorable into the tyrannical ruler roles we play, without our clued-up go along with in the continue. Our unawareness is part of the programming: None of us can arise the tyrannical ruler position, if we lived with a day-to-day emotional facts of the pain inflicted on furthest humans through the instrument of our behavior.... We Whites benefit in touchable ways, blind date in and blind date out, from the present racial arrangements. All my life in Ashen neighborhoods, Ashen schools, Ashen jobs and concern with Ashen make conform (to name only a few), I assertion superior advantages that are scrupulously not prevented to Black people. It does not make discrimination for me to attack for myself for the advantages that assertion come my way by virtue of my Pastiness. But absolving for myself from sin does not enchantment forgetting about racial insult or taking it sensitively (as my sin pushes me to do). (Winter, 1977, p. 2)

Donate is execution that Pastiness has been meticulous in disagreement to people of color-namely, by ethics of Ashen power. By being able to step out of this racist standard and redefine what her Pastiness intended to her, Winter is able to add meaning to sea green a nonracist identity. The unrestrained behavior of good/bad or positive/negative attachments to "Ashen" and "people of blemish" begin to become spare practicable. The person no longer denies being Ashen, brusquely confronts one's racism, understands the perception of Ashen suited, and feels increased comfort in commentary to colonize of blemish.

5. The internalization stage is the make of forming a new social and personal identity. With the greater comfort in understanding oneself and the development of a nonracist Ashen identity comes a assurance to social action as well. The work it accepts directive for effecting personal and social change without always relying on colonize of blemish to lead the way. As Winter explains,

To end racism, Whites assertion to pay attention to it and clasp to pay attention. Since dodging is such a basic dynamic of racism, paying attention will not license naturally. We Whites hardship learn how to capture racism realities in our attention. We hardship learn to get-up-and-go directive for this continue ourselves, without waiting for Blacks' actions to inducing us that the problem exists, and without depending on Black people to break us and pretext us for our racist sins. In my 268 Nature Venture in Multicultural Advice-giving and Analysis experience, the continue is tormented but it is a support to hovel the reservations, stereotypes, immobilizing sin we didn't want in the first place. (1977, p. 2)

The racist-free identity, at a standstill, hardship be nurtured, validated, and supported in order to be chronic in a unpleasant situation. Such an work it is continuously bombarded by attempts to be resocialized into the ending society.

Donate are distinct hope boundaries to the Hardiman (1982) model: (1) The misappropriate and definite sample that she uses to receive the stages and enumerate the characteristics makes hope sweeping statement suspect; (2) the autobiographies of Ashen Americans are not faithfully representative, and their experiences with racism may be spring by the era of the times; (3) the stages are fixed to introduce social identity development theories, and the model proposes a na"ivet'e stage that for all clever purposes exists only in litter ages 3 to 4 existence (it appears tangential in her model and break down better be conceptualized as part of the belief stage of socialization); and (4) represent assertion been no direct empirical or furthest postmodern methods of investigation by the way the model to date. Nevertheless these cautions and hope boundaries, Hardiman has contributed clearly to our understanding of Ashen identity development by focusing attention on racism as a rudimentary contact in the socialization of Ashen Americans. (p. 266-269)

The Helms model is merely equivalent - it has six stages, separated into two stages [stress extra]:

[D]eveloping a benevolently Ashen identity requires movement through two phases: (1) ruin of racism and (2) central a nonracist Ashen identity. Six have possession of racial identity statuses are drawn-out also in the two phases: contact, crumble, reintegration, pseudoindependence, immersion/emersion, and place. (p. 269)I want to combine the simpler stages of Hardiman and with the two-stage sphere of Helms to deceit a opening model of masculine identity development.

Fib tuned for Facet Two of this project.

1 Worrell, FC, Vandiver, BJ, Schaefer, BA, Awkward Jr., WE ">The Advice-giving Psychologist. Vol. 34 No. 4, July 2006 519-547. DOI: 10.1177/0011000005278281

2 Sue ">Counseling the Ethnically Diverse: Standard and Groom (5th Ed.) Wiley & Sons: New York.

Tags: manliness, psychology, culture, development, Opinion Near a Developmental Typical of Mannish Nature, William E Awkward Jr, Janet Helms, Rita Hardiman, ashen racial identity development, models

Saturday, December 11, 2010

0 Semester At Sea The Lost Diaries Confessions Of Homesickness From The Traveluster

Semester At Sea The Lost Diaries Confessions Of Homesickness From The Traveluster
"This is a guest post."

In a complete act of desperation, I started to methodically tape photos along the wall that my bed was pushed up against. Photo after photo of me with my boyfriend, me with his family, me with my family, individual shots of our siblings, one on top of the other, side by side -- no space in between. It later became known as "The Great Wall" to my shipmates. They were probably laughing "at" me, not "with" me, but I didn't seem to care. Like I said, I was desperate. Desperately homesick.

The Great Wall (even the ceilingkind of creepy, eh?)

Here I was, embarking on this amazingly epic journey around the world, 11 countries in 100 days to be exact, circumnavigating the globe on a cruise ship-turned-university. Who wants a semester abroad in Spain or France when they could see the world, literally, and only have to attend classes when the ship was at sea? So essentially, no time in a new place was wasted. It was anyone's dream.

While my peers were getting seasick, I was becoming more and more homesick. How did this happen to me? Was I that girl? I felt like a child going away to summer camp for the first time, initially overcome by excitement over all the activities and opportunities, then letting reality slink in like a cold, dark chill. I won't see my family, my boyfriend, or my friends for another 96 days! It might as well have been an eternity.

The cold and lonely Pacific

As a sophomore in college, I had never been away from family for an extended period of time. I had traveled a lot "with" my family. I had even applied to plenty of out of state universities, with full intentions of leaving home like many of my other friends did.

So what was this? Why couldn't I shake this childish notion that I couldn't hack a three-month journey abroad? My roommates seemed nice. I was sure to make some friends along the way, despite my shy nature.

I let the panic set in. I decided that as soon as we made landfall in Japan, two weeks after leaving Vancouver's port and saying goodbye to my parents, I would call home and book a flight back to the U.S.

The night before landing in our first port, we slept outside on the top deck (but didn't get too much sleep).


Landing in our first port, Kobe, Japan.

I did call home -- both to my parents and my boyfriend. In hysterics, I explained that I just couldn't do it. I had to come back.

Some how, and I'm not sure how, my family convinced me to try it out for a little while to see if things might improve. Maybe they would come and meet me half way through the journey, somewhere in Turkey or Italy or Egypt. Their loving words and encouragement soothed my soul. I wasn't trapped. I HAD AN OUT.

Loving all the fresh sushi in Japan (with the restaurant owner)

I slowly started to realize that I DIDN'T NEED ONE, THOUGH. What I discovered, each day that I experienced more of the beautiful culture of Japan, was that I was falling in love with this new type of exploration. Here I was, in a completely foreign country, where people spoke a language I didn't understand, ate things I'd never seen, and behaved in ways I never expected. Yes, I was with other Americans along the way, but did I really know any of them? No, they were complete strangers to me. Just like the Japanese lady at the Ryokan, a traditional Inn.

I was taller than everyone in Japan

I discovered something very interesting about myself. I loved getting to know people, from all cultures and backgrounds. Being pushed a little out of my comfort zone was actually interestingand exciting. Eating a 20 tiny-course meal at a table on the floor and not being able to identify most of that food, but enjoying it anyway, was strange and "magnificent". Sleeping on floor futons in a room with sliding paper and bamboo doors, complete strangers for roommates, was at once unsettling and sensational.

Eating and sleeping on the floor. Now "this" is different!

My taste for unfamiliar experiences and adventure grew with each new country we visited.

I was affronted by the congestion and pollution in Beijing. I felt a mixture of fear, confusion and awe watching the communist soldiers march in Tianamen Square, while our Chinese guide assured us that no one was hurt during the Tiananmen Square Massacre of 1989. "But that's not true! We saw it on the news, in America," someone called out.

Making friends with a "Mongolian warrior" on The Great Wall

I fell in love with the warm and welcoming people of Vietnam and the beautiful countryside landscape. The carefree happiness was omnipresent.

Having fun on the Mekong in Vietnam

Malaysia was a culinary adventure where I found food had a whole new meaning. Staying with a local tribe in their Sarawak longhouse was like living in the textbooks I'd been reading for my anthropology major.

Trying all of the exotic food was one of my favorite experiences.

India accosted my senses. The poverty, pollution, disparity and death shocked and rocked me down to my core. The loud, unapologetic, colorful living was so raw and real - like an uncensored celebration of life I had never witnessed before. Pure life and death- sheer joy and pain- existed side by side- in the flesh, not on some television show.

Having an armed military escort (Humvees) flank our buses to the pyramids at Giza in Egypt made me feel a bit like a war correspondent.

Turkey was a new, strange and fascinating land. The Islamic mosques sprinkled the skyline of the split Eurasian city of Istanbul. The juxtaposition of the Islamic world and the west was mesmerizing yet fit together quite nicely. Exploring Capadoccia, I felt like we had found another planet while walking around the strange rock formations and caves.

Croatia was a country I had never heard of, and I was honestly initially disappointed we were going to (in lieu of Israel, which was going through their second Intifada-war; a last minute schedule change). I quickly realized that this Balkan country was one of the most stunning European treasures I'd ever seen.

Although a repeat, I discovered the local side of Italy while eating and shopping my way through Rome, Capri, Sorrento and Naples with a few newly minted friends.

Trekking the Sahara in Morocco (on camels) with nomadic Bedouins and staying in their tents was another one straight from the anthropology textbooks.

I made so many friends along the way. These were university students we befriended in Beijing.

Each experience seemed to trump the last, and my enjoyment of the strange, unique, new and sometimes uncomfortable deepened as I grew every step along the way.

In many ways, my time abroad with Semester at Sea paved the mental path that lead me to my intermediate career in international policy, and later to pursue my dream and current life path of writing, traveling and blogging. My parents laid the foundation, engraining travel and exploration in my nature, but my time on "the boat" solidified the urgency to travel and learn -- relentlessly and ceaselessly -- and to give back and help others in any way I could. A global citizen, I was reborn.

Oh, and remember the boyfriend I missed so much that I almost flew home from Japan to be reunited with him? He's my husband now, fifteen years later, and we're having our first child this June! So you see, leaving him behind for 100 days of travel around the world didn't ruin our relationship after all.

: : :

"Lindsay is a freelance writer and runs the blog The Traveluster. She's spent a lifetime traveling and studying culture, with a degrees in anthropology and geography and a masters in international peace and conflict resolution. Currently living in Nashville, TN, she has previously called Baton Rouge, LA, Washington, DC, and Seville, Spain home. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+ and Pinterest."

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The post Semester at Sea... The Lost Diaries (Confessions of Homesickness from The Traveluster) appeared first on LL World Tour.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

0 Obviously Not

Obviously Not
Earlier this month we had the 2013 awarding of the annual Ig Nobel Prizes. These are awarded for unusual or trivial scientific discoveries. The stated aim of the awards, which are run by an American magazine, Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), is to "honour achievements that first make people laugh, and then make them think." So here are the pick of this year's awards:

MEDICINE - for assessing the effect of listening to opera, on heart transplant patients. The patients being mice.

PSYCHOLOGY - for confirming that people who think they are drunk also think they are attractive. This was proven by experiment.

PHYSICS - for discovering that some people would be physically capable of running across the surface of a pond. If the people and the pond were on the moon.

PROBABILITY - for first of all discovering that the longer a cow has been lying down, the more likely it is that cow will soon stand up; and secondly, that once a cow stands up you cannot easily predict how soon that cow will lie down again.

Surely much of this is of little interest to us or is plain and simply obvious, isn't it? But ask yourself do we take things in our life for granted, do we automatically assume that we know exactly what's going on? Should we stop and pause for a moment and ask ourselves some very simple and obvious questions? Do we not do this because we don't think that we can get hold of the answers or do we not do it because we don't want to hear the answers or do we just not ever stop and think? I think that we could learn more about our human experience when we question more of what we take for granted in life.

At the end of the day NLP is not so much interested in what you think as to how you think. So using the examples above, from an NLP perspective I'm not as interested in whether cows like lying down or not, I am more interested in how did the scientists do their research, and how does what they learn apply elsewhere; for instance could we do the same research with teenagers? NLP is more about your thinking processes not the content of what you are thinking about. Sometimes we all get lost in the content of our lives, our stories, our problems and dramas. I have often noticed that when people listen to each other, the "listener" is simply waiting for a break in the conversation and then proceeds to talk about what they have done or experienced which is most similar to what they just heard. Now this is perfectly acceptable in building relationships and rapport; and in fact your brain works by making associations between things in the first place, so it is actually quite natural. Once you become aware that you are about to do that you can ask yourself should I share this or should I actually be listening some more to what this person has to say?

There is often more than there appears to be on the surface, when we are prepared to stop and look that is. In 2000 Andre Geim and Sir Michael Berry won the Ig Noble physics award for magnetically levitating a live frog. In 2010 Geim won the Nobel Prize for Physics for his work on graphene. If you didn't know graphene is one-atom thick layer of the carbon, it is very strong, light, nearly transparent, and an excellent conductor of heat and electricity. Nothing wrong with Andre Geim's thinking processes then.

"Written By Ewan Mochrie"


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