Monday, March 30, 2015

2 5 Ways To Create A Great Date Night

5 Ways To Create A Great Date Night
So you're now dating that special guy you met online. You've made it past the first three months of dating and have decided to become exclusive.

You know it's important to date your mate or significant other after the honeymoon phase is over, but it's easy to get caught up with work deadlines and juggling your calendar.

As a dating expert, my number one piece of advice is for couples to create the ritual of scheduling a 'Date Night' every week. This can actually save your relationship from fading away. Not sure where to start?

Here are 5 Relationship tips to keep your date sizzling both online and offline.

1. SELECT A DAY AND STICK TO IT. Make sure you know your date night won't be pre-empted by a baseball game or a standing nail appointment and stick to it. Know that every week on the same evening, you'll be scheduling a romantic evening for you and your honey. Date night is sacred. Hire a babysitter or dog sitter and take a pass on the happy hour invite. If you're sweetheart is out of town, schedule a Skype date as we know that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

2. TAKE TURNS ON SCHEDULING PLANS. Every week, you and your honey should alternate as to who selects the outing. Get creative. It can be as simple as in-room-dining by candlelight, to finding events to attend such as comedy shows, movies, plays, or free concerts. It doesn't have to break the bank, so check out Groupon, Living Social or the free outdoor concerts in your area.

3. PRE-DATE NIGHT FOREPLAY. Show some enthusiasm and excitement leading up to your date. Leave a love note on your pillow or send a sexy text messages to each other in anticipation of your special night. Take out the lingerie that has been collecting dust in your bureau and wear it all day long. Let him know in a text message. He'll be anxious to leave work, perhaps even a little bit earlier than usual.

4. LEAVE THE BOARDROOM BEHIND. If you have had a fight with your boss or are worried about an upcoming presentation, take a break from talking about it on date night. There's plenty of time to talk about work outside of your special evening. He wants bedroom eyes, not boardroom drama.

5. MEMORIALIZE IT. Be your own love historian. Bring your iPhone to take cute photos and videos, log onto Instagram and post a lovey-dovey shot of you and your your sweetheart, and upload them to your photo sharing account on Flickr or to Facebook. If you've already announced to the world that you're "In a Relationship," use Facebook's timeline to announce your first kiss or vacation together. Upload your favorite shot of the two of you onto your desktop for quick viewing in between date nights and keep it handy on your mobile phone.

The simple ritual of creating a date night can help you become as excited as you did during the first three months of dating, and can last for months, years, or decades to come.

"JULIE SPIRA" is a leading online dating expert and bestselling author of THE PERILS OF CYBER-DATING: CONFESSIONS OF A HOPEFUL ROMANTIC LOOKING FOR LOVE ONLINE. She was a very early adopter of online dating and creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. Julie helps shorten the search so you can happily ride into the digital sunset together. Visit her at "" for dating advice and follow Julie "@JulieSpira" on Twitter and at ""

Thursday, March 26, 2015

0 Nlp Meta States

Nlp Meta States



In the 80's and 90's I used to go for month-long retreats in Southwestern France to study with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Master, who was our teacher for many years. One of his constant themes, and something he would repeat over and over again, was that whenever strong negative emotions came up in our meditations, we should treat them kindly. He suggested simply being mindful whenever resentment, anxiety, regret, self-judgment or similar emotions came up; and instead of pushing them away, to treat them with the same respect and affection you might treat a good friend in need. Listen to them, be kind to them.

What would happen to your relationship with a friend in need if you were to judge them, show impatience and anger, or try to ignore them when they showed up?

The suggestion was to develop a relationship with those difficult emotions as you would with a friend. When you do. You can be sure that those emotions will cause you less grief in future encounters with them. It's not that they won't show up any more, it's that your relationship to them begins to change. This is a basic strategy of mindfulness training; simple, though not necessarily easy to do.


Unless you do something "DIFFERENT" than just fighting and blindly resisting negative emotions you will never learn the valuable information they carry. You never get to truly heal the deep wounds that we all carry. Worse than that, you end up compounding the negatives:

- beating yourself up about beating yourself up

- getting angry at yourselves for getting angry

- shaming yourselves for failures, weaknesses, your lack of confidence

- having anxiety in anticipation of anxiety or fear

in a repeating pattern of neurotic loops.

Those layers of resistance accumulate and compound, creating a tangle so dense that it seems almost impossible to ever extricate yourself.


Those meditation instructions echo the " NLP meta state " model of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which I use now, to great effect with clients who have no experience of, and no particular interest in meditation.

The common key, and the starting point, is Awareness. You begin by simply being aware of the negative emotional state. As if you were with a good friend who was in trouble; you listen to it. You accept it as it is. Later you begin to evaluate the emotion. Is this state valid? Is it appropriate? Am I digging up some old reaction that is completely outdated in the present circumstances? Can I learn from this? What is it telling me?

Asking clear questions with awareness is the first step of becoming master of your emotions. Most people don't develop even this basic skill; or if they do, it is haphazard at best. But if you could learn to handle the infinite progression of emotional states, as they happen, with alignment and clear focus - imagine what would then become possible! You can transform all the emotional patterns that limit who you are, and what you can do.

What I am describing is a way of handling your emotions so that you can play the game of life in an entirely new way, with resilience, resourcefulness, energy, and creativity! And because treating it as 'play', may just be the one of the best ways to embody those qualities!


In previous blogs I described how to use NLP Meta States. There are many ways of doing so, and after you become familiar with the process, you will be able to adapt it and create your own unique approach.

I gave you an example of taking a negative emotional state and then gradually accessing its higher level underlying intention. Grief and loss was the initial negative state, and I moved from there to joy and gratitude as its higher level intention, using four intermediate states to get there. I layered each state one on the other, until I was immersed in the joy and gratitude.

Here is another approach to creating NLP Meta States. You begin in the same way, asking what the underlying highest purpose behind the negative emotion is. Then you go DIRECTLY to it, and move backwards to find the sequence that connects it to the original negative emotion. Once again you are layering state upon state, to transform that negative emotion.

Recently I experienced a strange and unfamiliar fear. I was about to stand up at a large gathering of entrepreneurs to publicly acknowledge someone from whom I had learned some life-changing lessons, and for whom I felt profound gratitude. My fear kept me paralyzed in silence. Then I examined it to explore it a little. I began simply with an awareness of the fear, and an acknowledgement that it was there for a reason. I realized that underneath my fear there was a stronger feeling - my gratitude. My gratitude had been buried under old habits, and emotional triggers that had lost their relevance years ago. That awareness alone was enough to shift my focus in such a way that the fear disappeared completely. As I tracked back from gratitude, through layers of love, celebration, energy, I found that I couldn't even access the fear any more. The fear was now the messenger of profound gratitude.

The use of this powerful process called NLP META STATES are something we use to help our clients learn to live with clarity, focus, and purpose. There are some amazing ways of using them that are impossible to describe fully here, but I hope you get a sense of how it works. NLP Meta States are also something we cover in depth in our NLP Certification training.

NLP Meta States, resisting negative emotions, being aware of the negative emotional state, emotional patterns, how to reach NLP meta states. Mediation, NLP, spiritual practice, Neuro lingusitic programming, Hypnosis, personal development, unconscious mind.


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The post NLP Meta States appeared first on Five Changes.

2 Easy Smart Tips On How To Find The Absolute Best Free Dating Site

Easy Smart Tips On How To Find The Absolute Best Free Dating Site
Congratulations! You have decided to try your hand at free online dating. There are many sites out there to choose from. The trick is to find the best free dating site for your needs. There are several methods to follow when trying to find an online dating site.

List the Features

Begin by making a list of the features you expect from a dating site. Think of the ease of navigation, security and privacy factors, ability to post or view a person's picture and the detail of the personality profile. As you go through the different dating websites, see if they meet or exceed the expectations on your list.

Strength in Numbers

Do not limit yourself to one free dating site. There are quite a few general sites available as well as more specific niche sites. Niche sites are those dating websites devoted to a particular group of people, such as individuals over 40 or singles with children, or those of a specific religion. When choosing the free dating site that most suits your needs, consider one or two general dating sites as well as a few niche sites if they apply to you. By joining more than one site, you have a better chance of reaching a greater number of people. The more individuals you are exposed too, the more likely you will find a potential mate.

Check Out the Forums

There are plenty of online blogs, forums, and websites that rate the dating sites available for you to join. Go check them out, ask questions, read the opinions and unbiased recommendations. The best way to get a review of a free dating site is from someone who is or was a member of the dating site or from a website that compares and contrasts the many online dating sites.

Ask Around

Talk to friends, family and co-workers and see if anyone currently takes part in online dating. Find out what free dating site they use and what they like or dislike about it. By talking with someone you know and trust, you will be more likely to get a true opinion of a free dating site. Remember to keep an open mind as what might work for a friend or a relative may not work for you.

Make Sure It's Free

Always be sure the dating site you are thinking of joining is truly free. Many sites have free trial periods or only offer limited services for free. Too many people fall for these types of websites only to be disappointed when they are asked to pay for a membership in a few months or to pay for upgraded services. Always read the policy and agreement contract carefully before joining any online dating site. This way you will be sure to find no unpleasant hidden surprises sometime down the road.

Give it a Try

Finally, do not be afraid to try out a few websites. As the sites are free, go ahead and join up. Give it a few weeks and see if you like what the site offers. If you do not care for something about the site, feel free to cancel your membership, remove your information from the dating website and move on to the next site.

Related Posts

* Free Dating Sites: Five Positive Values (0)
* Free Dating Sites Not Always Better (0)
* Existence of Free Dating Sites (0)
* Why Would A Free Dating Site Work For You? (0)
* Totally Free Dating Sites - Use Pay Sites For Free (0)


Friday, March 20, 2015

1 Psychology Brilliant Nlp Courses

Psychology Brilliant Nlp Courses

The world around you is changing. Whether we are talking about the change of seasons or the cycles of economic or organizational change, your world demands that you adapt. How well do you maintain a productive fit between yourself and your environment? NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) teaches a set of practices that allow people to adapt and adjust so that they are more successful in responding to change. When you learn NLP, you learn to balance personal integrity with elegant, effective adaptation to new circumstances and relationships. Whatever your measure of success, you can achieve it more reliably when you know how to adapt. Discover more.

NLP Hypnotherapy has often been pronounced together and is closely related too. In fact, both these techniques of self improvement can be considered as members of the same family of therapeutic treatments. As a matter of fact, if you consider trying hypnotherapy and you are looking for a perfect therapist to conduct the same for you, you will soon figure out that there are many hypnotherapists these days that practice NLP hypnotherapy. Conversely, there are many NLP practitioners with certified NLP training programs and are also familiar with the hypnotic techniques.Hypnotherapy is performed using hypnotic techniques for bringing about final therapeutic changes. Hypnotherapy actually enables an individual to resolve their problems by invoking a deep state of relaxation of the mind. When a person feels relaxed, it allows his mind, and specifically the unconscious part of his mind to use all the required resources for finding solutions. It further allows a person to tune in to the voice of the therapist to make sure that the suggestions are followed properly. According to hypnotherapy, the state of relaxation is known as the trance state. It involves focusing attention to ensure better results. For instance, when you are watching a very good movie or you are reading a good book and you are totally engrossed in it. The debate and inquiry whether or not Neuro-linguistic programming is a valid science or not continues. To comply with the technicalities of scientific study, NLP modeling was used to make objective observations and presentations of its principles. Since NLP does not use precise statistical data and other measurable entities that are common among other scientific studies and principles, NLP modeling was introduced. The models have become a tool on which NLP maintains authenticity in studying, determining and discovering the cognitive and emotional processes involved in behavioral and attitude changes. With the helps of these models, NLP has become an exceptionally broad and adaptable principle of psychology.

NLP modeling described to be the process in which neuro-linguistic programming gives the corresponding codes and patterns to human behaviors. With the use of the actually or direct experiences of the subject, the models enable the NLP practitioners to discover and tally relevant distinctions between experiential components. Similarly, the models are helpful in noting and determining the precise sequencing of components that are responsible for the resultant human behavior. When mentioning the term "NLP modeling project", it means spending time in thoroughly studying and observing the depth of a subject's feelings, beliefs, behaviors and responses.

Source and this Web log

Friday, February 27, 2015

0 Psychic Tourist

Psychic Tourist

Astrology is one of those slightly batty but essentially harmless activities which members of CSICOP (now CSI-not jumping on the bandwagon, honestly mate) tend to get too het up about, or so the conventional wisdom goes. Freelance journalist William Little will tell you that's not the case at all. As a birthday gift he gave his sister birth charts for herself and her young daughter, and as a result of hints in these about the dangers of water, she has become phobic about going anywhere near streaches of water, it is beginning to seriously constrict her life.

This sets Little off on a quest to see if there is anything in claims to be able to foresee the future, and for psychic claims in general. He visits mediums and celebrity psychics, researchers and sceptics (even the notorious Richard Dawkins), witches and astrologers. Like many who have gone before him he finds that the truth in this field very hard to pin down, and that often dramatic-seeming claims tend to evaporate on close critical analysis. There is the 'psychic detective' who was the subject of a glowing report in the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research, promoted by the late Montague Keen. Sceptic Tony Youens came to very different conclusions, and nicely sums up Keen as "someone who would believe anything as long as it was paranormal". We squirm as he read of this 'psychic detective' leading some poor grieving mother the most un-merry dance imaginable.

There can be disagreement among the sceptics of course, Derren Brown believes that psychics operate by understanding psychology and watching out for subtle clues, but Richard Wiseman thinks that this gives them too much credit, many 'psychics' are not very empathic, have poor people skills, and work by a process of non-stop chatter and rather bullying people into agreeing with them.

The more scientific believers such as Brian Josephson and Dean Radin invoke quantum entanglement as explanations for their mysterious effects, but other physicists are more than rather sceptical, arguing that quantum entanglement requires very special laboratory conditions, such as complete isolation from the environment, not likely to be found in the 'hot and wet' human. These critics are not al the classical establishment yes-men, they include Ronald Mallett who is trying to build a time machine in his lab, and David Deutsch who believes there are vast numbers of parallel universes.

Though believers may have a point if they argue that just as some bereaved people might be strongly motivated to believe in the paranormal, Little's own predicament might mean he is strongly motivated not to, they face one big problem. Precognition is a testable hypothesis, and it has failed the test time and again. Of course after the event there are always people who claim that they or someone they knew predicted this, that or the other, but there were no unambiguous before the event predictions of such dramatic events as the election of the Polish Pope, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of communism in Europe, 9/11, the Asian tsunami, the election of President Obama, the current financial crisis and so on and so on. The psychic literature on the other hand simply groans under the weight of wrong predictions

This is a light-hearted book, rather than a scientific one, but it is one with a serious message: your future is in your own hands rather than in the stars or the messages of a psychic. Read it before you consult one, or better still instead. -- "Peter Rogerson"

Thursday, February 26, 2015

0 Bringing Innovation To Hr Strategy Highlights Of The 2013 Shrm Strategy Conference

Bringing Innovation To Hr Strategy Highlights Of The 2013 Shrm Strategy Conference
We're living in a VUCA world, said Dr. Tom Hogan at the 2013 SHRM Strategy conference. And, indeed, that was the talk of the conference.

VUCA stands for volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous. Each of the speakers I heard shared thoughts, models, tools, and stories about how companies can succeed in a VUCA world.


"Thinking has become a daring act," keynote speaker Lisa Bodell (@LisaBodell) proclaimed. After all, she explained, what happens when we walk into an office to see someone staring out the window? We wonder why they're not working. The act of thinking is seen as something frivolous, time-wasting, and counter-productive. After all, thinking gets in the way of getting things done!

And yet, we're at a time in history when we need to think more than ever. We face complex, vexing problems with deep implications for communities, our companies, and our ecosystems. We need leaders who can help us explore solutions and push the boundaries.

Unfortunately, says Bodell, we're not grooming people to become these leaders. Instead, we're creating professional cynics: people who, when you share your latest idea, can quickly analyze the situation, point out the reasons it won't work, and successfully protect the company from risk. The problem, of course, is that, to solve our knotty problems, we need to take risks.

How do we move towards greater innovation and breakthrough problem solving? Keynote speaker Peter Sheahan (@PeterGSheahan) shared two stories I loved about breakthrough problem solving.


Zara, the Spanish clothing manufacturer, has become the largest apparel manufacturer on the planet. They've been incredibly successful by finding a solution to a ubiquitous problem in fashion: By the time runway fashions make it to the stores thirty months after their initial viewing, they're often pass'e. Some of the lucky styles are swept up by eager consumers excited by the new trend which lasts, on average, only six weeks. In other words, most companies spend thirty months working for a six week sales period-if they're lucky.

Sheahan explained that Zara radically rethought the entire process. The company sends photographers to the fashion shows. Their photos immediately land on the factory floor where teams of designers, market specialists, procurers, and production planners figure out how to get the product shipped within fourteen days. Zara bypasses the time-consuming back-and-forth negotiations between areas to quickly and efficiently get products to market. The company broke the barriers by creating cross-functional teams, giving them an impossible goal (reducing a thirty month cycle to fourteen days), and challenging them to achieve it.


Best Buy, years ago, learned an unsurprising fact that was, nevertheless, news to company leaders: women comprise 50% of their customer base. In response, Best Buy leaders decided to make their stores more welcoming to women. So, Sheahan explained, they hired a male management consultant to make recommendations. His suggestion: hire more cute, brawny workers to attract female customers. The lone female executive, according to Sheahan, was enraged.

Julie Gilbert tried a different approach. She asked female Best Buy employees what would make a better shopping experience. Their ideas were practical and helpful. Widen the aisles so they're less crowded. Mute the harsh florescent lighting. Lower the fixtures since most women can't reach high shelves. Put up clear, common language signs to help us find our way around the store. Clean the bathrooms.

Best Buy took the suggestions and saw an 11% increase in sales revenue, a 40% increase in female General Managers and GMs in training, and female Geek Squad members increased by 400%. Best Buy broke down the barriers by asking, and then really listening, to their employees' ideas-and then implementing them.

These are just two examples breaking down barriers. The conference was full of them. And, as an advocate for business ecosystem thinking, I couldn't be more delighted. In my session on "The Forest and the Trees: Understanding Business Ecosystems", we learned how to understand and find opportunity in business ecosystems, the volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous world in which we operate. Stay tuned for the next blog post on business ecosystem thinking for more on how to bring this thinking to your company.


It's natural for HR to advocate for soliciting feedback form staffers and engaging people in radically rethinking process, but many HR shops never do. They get caught in the transactional details of everyday life like coordinating benefits, handling employee relations issues, and rolling out performance management systems. Yet HR could be so much more.

Here, then, is your challenge, HR leaders:



The post Bringing Innovation to HR Strategy: Highlights of the 2013 SHRM Strategy Conference appeared first on Partnering Resources.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

0 Tech Blogger Dobs In Trolls To Their Mums

A young tech-blogger from Australia has managed to think outside the square to hit back at internet trolls who were threatening her with sexual violence; she dobbed the in to their mummies.

Some of these internet trolls threatened rape towards twenty-one year old Alana Pearce of Brisbane. She took this action against the trolls after realising that they were not grown men, but teenage boys, threatening her from the safety of being hidden behind their computer.

According to the Guardian, the gaming journalist said she had received one reply from a mother who called her son a "little s**t".

'She responded in almost exactly the way I wanted her to,' Ms Pearce said, according to 'The fact she called him a little s**t I found funny as well because I thought that but I wasn't going to say anything.'

Miss Pearce is a gaming reviewer for radio stations Triple J and 4ZZZ. She told of how determined she was to show these boys that there were consequences for leaving violent or "disgusting" messages online, despite the apparent lack of repercussion.

"It turns out that mostly they're young boys and the problem is they don't know any better, so responding to them rationally didn't resolve the situation. And it got to the point where their comments were starting to make me feel really uncomfortable," she said, according to the Guardian.

The young woman decided to track the boys down online before contacting their mothers through Facebook, to alert them as to what their sons had been up to online. She posted her conversation in which she received a reply from the mother on Twitter, were she received a huge amount of support. Alana said that by making this public, she would show many of the younger, internet using generation who considered making such threat, to re-think there actions before they went ahead and made threats towards people.

"I've had people asking me today why this boy has been sending me rape threats, and is there any context," she said. "I can only assume he's seen a video of mine that he didn't like, or that I'm a woman in games on the internet. It sounds illogical, but it happens to so many people. Every time this happens to me, I will do this. I won't necessarily post it on Twitter, but I will definitely continue doing it."

In Internet slang, a troll is a person who attempts to disturb other internet users by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in online communities such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog. The quite deliberate intent is usually just to provoke readers into an emotional response, or just generally steer the topic off course for their own amusement.

Whilst the word "troll" and its verb "trolling" are commonly used in association with internet discourse, the terms have also been used more widely. In recent years, incidents of harassment such as the one described above concerning Alan Pearce, and also more serious and disturbing accounts, have attracted media attention which has resulted in trolling being equated with online harassment. As an example, there have been times of late where media now use the words "troll" or "trolling" in reference to "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families".

Friday, February 13, 2015

1 All Free Online Girls Games

All Free Online Girls Games
Many people find making new friends daunting, and find it easier to do this via the web. Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Online dating is a huge business that has ushered in a whole new era of dating. Some dating websites are very thorough, and ask lots of questions before they attempt to match you to an online dating partner. You can upload a picture to your online dating service if you want, but it is not required. Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don't limit yourself to what you think is your type. Some internet dating sites provide you with a list of photographers in your area who specialize in internet dating photos. Usually these are casual and high quality pictures. Using one of these will give an instant impression on how much you care about finding someone special. Most people searching online free dating services will not even bother reading your personal if you do not have an image. Remember, the image can be of anything and does not have to be your face. People also blur their own faces but you should know what you are doing for this to look acceptable. If in doubt, ask a friend to look at your profile and tell you the honest truth about what the see and feel. Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together that agencies have used for years. The bigger free online dating services now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. Use the search engines to find all of the dating sites that specialize in your interests or that list people from your location. Unless you want to fall in love with someone long distance, you should always search each free online dating service for people from your own city. Disregard everyone else and disregard sites that do not let you refine your search without paying for a membership. Finding people from your own city is only the first step. Next you need to decide which ones are most appealing and which make what seem on the surface, a better match to your own needs and desires. This process will take time. Give it the effort it requires. Think of the alternative of going to singles bars or otherwise trying blind dates suggested by well meaning friends and family. Communicating with the other members of free online dating services can be tricky but if you know the tricks to this, it can be done. Some sites allow communication, you do not have to stop there. Those free online dating services that charge you to communicate with others are not going to stop you from following a few little known tricks. What you say when contacting others is just as important as what you have written in your profile. Think about your communication. Do you say too much? Do you say too little? The process of weeding out those people you feel are not a good match continues with the email or telephone communication. You are still making a first impression. Use this time to build upon who you are. Do not pretend to be someone you are not but you can refrain from having a soul baring conversation on first contact. Consider a free online dating service as a do-it-yourself service. If you were considering a matchmaker or offline dating service because you think they are superior to free online dating services, you would be very surprised to find out you are wrong. Search for and join a few free online dating sites and check out some of the people using the sites. You will see that you really can make great connections there.



Thursday, February 12, 2015

1 Relationships In College Statistics

Relationships In College Statistics
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Dating Advice For Men

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Thursday, February 5, 2015

0 Do A Guys Friends Influence His Choice Of Girlfriend

Do A Guys Friends Influence His Choice Of Girlfriend

Can His Buddies' Opinions Make Or Break Your Relationship?

-Kristen Mark

It's always exciting when you're in a new relationship with a guy: everything is going amazingly well, and he says he wants to introduce you to his friends. Exciting - yes. Terrifying - you betcha! What will these friends think of you? And exactly how much of an influence do they have on your new man?

Read "Have Fun Being Single!"

When you're really in love with each other, you see that person through rose-tinted glasses. "This has a lot to do with the influence of a potent neurochemical called dopamine that causes you to focus wholeheartedly on the person you're in love with," explains sex therapist and founder of Good In Bed, Ian Kerner. "You tend to wear blinders when it comes to other people's thoughts and feelings." This is where the phrase "love is blind" comes from. Things about that person that may be annoying to others - or are warning signs - are usually ignored. People have often cast aside friends and family to pursue love.


Wednesday, February 4, 2015

0 The Science Of Self Esteem

The Science Of Self Esteem
Nicole Kidman announced in an interview she has finally embraced her curls. Frankly, Nicole didn't need to tell us she didn't like her natural hair - we can see the way she flat irons it so much, her hairline is receding. She has cosmetically altered her lips, her cheeks and her breasts. It is alarming to us when women, who have made millions of dollars out of their beauty, hope to look more beautiful. We assume they have infinite confidence. Self-esteem starts to look like the Yowie - everybody knows it exists but nobody has ever seen it. So how do we get self-esteem? And, more importantly, how do we lose it?

In times of doubt, people often reach for self-help books in search of encouragement and the use of self-affirmations. These books sell the idea you can raise your self-esteem by repeating a certain phrase, like a mantra. "I am loveable. I am attractive. I am healthy." According to a recent study in "Psychological Science", these statements actually have the opposite effect. People with low self-esteem feel worse after repeating them.

The problem is, if we don't believe it, our brains work twice as hard rejecting the statement. You may say, "I am loveable" but if you don't believe you are, the brain replies, "No, you're not. If you're so loveable, why are you lying in bed repeating this lame mantra. If you were loveable, you wouldn't be alone in bed!" For every positive statement we don't believe, the brain launches a counter-attack.

You can't trick the brain into believing the opposite, but you can reason with it and come to a happy compromise. When these statements of positivity are tailored to the individual and the quality is something the individual values, the phrases can be repeated to good effect. For example, if I were to compliment myself on my wonderful driving, I wouldn't feel any better about myself, because I don't care about driving well. I just want to arrive somewhere uninjured. If I compliment myself on how wonderful I am at writing, I will feel the warm fuzz of an ego boost because I care about writing well and my mind will entertain the possibility that it is true.

Another important discovery about self-esteem is that most of it is based on what the culture values. We see fluctuations in young women's self-esteem when they look at women in magazines. Overweight women's self-esteem plummets when they view photographic models of any size and underweight women's esteem increases, regardless of the models' size. A slender body type is what the culture values at the moment and so overweight women will never feel good about themselves no matter what size the woman. Thin women just walk around feeling smug, regardless of the magazines. Researchers discovered that what is culturally valued overrides our own personal values.

So the brain is judging those qualities we are actually good at and if that quality is actually valued in society, you find the sweet spot of an affirmation that will actually work. "I am loveable" just isn't going to cut it. "I am really kind to my family. I am a great communicator. I have a great sense of style." Find something you do well and pay attention to it. Appreciate that it is both true for you and objectively true. Then put that phrase on high-rotation but try to keep it on the inside.

Try it, it's science.


The post The Science Of Self-Esteem appeared first on SheSaid Global.


Sunday, January 18, 2015

0 Six Secrets Of Body Language In Flirting With Women

Six Secrets Of Body Language In Flirting With Women
"Having the proper body language in flirting with women is an absolute must. Before you can get a woman's number or possibly go home with her, you have to build attraction and rapport. By developing the "RIGHT KIND" of body language you'll be able to increase your overall success with women?

So how do you develop a body language that will draw-in a woman?

Well it can be accomplished in six easy steps that are fairly easy to master:

1. Develop a positive attitude and ambiance. Your overall demeanor is the most important step to developing the proper body language in flirting. This means having fun in your conversation and genuinely enjoying her company. If you take the time to make sure you're having fun, this attitude will be obvious in your interaction.

2. Carry yourself in a confident manner. A strong and confident personality will always attract women. So when you approach women and engage them in a conversation, take the time to ensure that you come across as confident. Even if you don't feel particularly confident, keep practicing till you can at least fake it.

3. Maximize the power of your facial expressions. Your facial expressions in conversations have a direct impact on how quickly you can develop rapport with a woman. So make sure you're sending the right kind of messages. This can be done by maintaining a confident smile and maintaining eye contact with her.

4. Lightly touch her during your interactions. A simple way to quickly build attraction is to lightly touch women during your conversations. By breaking the "TOUCHING BARRIER", you're subconsciously demonstrating that you have some attraction to her. But if she pulls away or looks upset, don't touch her again. This pretty much means she doesn't want you to touch her right now. (LATER ON, THIS COULD CHANGE)

5.Direct your body and attention to her. When you're talking to woman, make sure that you're facing her. While this may seem like common sense, a lot guys make the mistake of not paying full attention to women. So when you're talking to her, make sure that your body appears both open and directly turned towards her.

6. Keep your concentration on what she is saying. Another huge mistake that guys make is letting their mind wander or thinking about how to "GET INTO A WOMAN'S PANTS". When you're talking to a woman, make sure you're listening to what she is saying. If you let your concentration slip, she'll probably pick up on the fact that you're not listening and will get annoyed. Concentrate on what she is saying and let her know that she is the most important person in the room.

By following the six "BODY LANGUAGE IN FLIRTING" steps I described above, you'll find that your conversations with women are much more successful. In addition you'll discover that you can get more numbers and have more fun on dates.

Recommended books (free to download):Thundercat - The Ultimate Secret To Getting Good With Women

Dr Gabriel - Master Of Body Language In Negotiation

Robert Henderson - Secrets Of Dating Asian Women

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

1 Welcome To The Harlequin Romance Spotlight From The Harlequin Romance Editors

Welcome To The Harlequin Romance Spotlight From The Harlequin Romance Editors
Welcome to the Harlequin Romance spotlight - from the Harlequin Romance Editors!

We're the Harlequin Romance editors, Bryony, Meg, Anna and Charlotte, and we're so glad you've stopped by at this special spotlight on Harlequin Romance. We'd like to tell you all about the series we acquire for, and also to let you know about our 'fast track' event for aspiring authors which is currently taking place.

Without further ado, let's get to grips with what the Harlequin Romance team is looking for! We acquire for both Harlequin Romance and some of the books from Harlequin Presents Extra. Let's kick off with a look at the world of "HARLEQUIN ROMANCE".

We offer readers a romantic, uplifting, contemporary story that captures the thrill and rush of falling in love. However, the tone of the series varies quite a lot from traditional and emotional with well-loved romantic themes, to fun and flirty lighter reads.

For the SOFTER, MORE EMOTIONAL, ROMANTIC END OF THE SERIES, the heroine is really the key. Readers need to be able to relate to her, laugh with her, cry with her and imagine she could be their friend. Remember, it's through the heroine's eyes that we fall in love with the hero!

Our heroes are alpha but attainable - they're not all super rich international tycoons (although some might be!). They're successful in their own right and should be a strong man our heroine would aspire to be with, the kind of man you would hope to meet in real life.

What about sensuality level? Well, these stories are certainly high on emotional and sensual tension but low on explicit sexual detail - that's left to the imagination.

So, from one fantasy to another here is Harlequin Romance's sassier side:

The lighter, flirtier end of Harlequin Romance offers a contemporary twist on classic themes. Here, 21st Century alpha males take centre stage, but they have to share it with their spirited, feisty heroines who always give as good as they get! You'll find editorial here which pushes the boundaries of usual series themes (check out Fiona Harper's Swept Off Her Stilettos, which is in the first person or Nikki Logan's Mr Right at the Wrong Time where the hero is married!). Every story has a high level of sensual tension, but with a low level of explicit detail, against a backdrop of fabulous, mostly urban, cosmopolitan settings. This is quintessential romance for the modern day!

As some of you may know, two of the flirtier, less traditional Harlequin Romance stories per month are published as part of the RIVA series in the UK, along with the two sassier books from the Presents Extra series.

For this PRESENTS EXTRA/RIVA editorial we are looking for edgy, sharply contemporary stories, which, like Harlequin Romance's sassier side, offer a fresh take on core romantic themes. These are glamorous, high octane books with irresistibly alpha heroes, who will meet their match in fabulous, feisty heroines. They are much higher in explicit sensual detail than the Harlequin Romance/RIVA stories, however the contemporary voice, mostly urban and glamorous settings and boundary-pushing editorial are the same.

No matter whether your story is flirty and edgy or warm and cosy, we're looking for stories that have happy endings and a sense of joyful escapism! Since these books are no more than 50,000 words, the main focus is the romance itself - whether your story is about a gorgeous rancher and a single mum, or a single girl in the city, it should be driven by the characters themselves and their growing feelings for each other.

Hope this helps you understand our series a bit more!

So, what else have we got lined up for you in this spotlight week?


We're actively looking for new voices to join our group of talented authors, so we're currently holding a 'fast track' submission event. Anyone who sends us their first chapter and synopsis before 23RD APRIL will hear back from us less than ONE MONTH after the closing date, before the 18TH MAY.

The email address to send your submission to is

Please attach your first chapter and short synopsis to the email as well as a short query letter, letting us know how much of the manuscript is complete. Please note, we'll be looking at only one submission per person.


Look out for blogs from some of our authors talking about their experiences of writing for our series.


Find out what we get up to all day!


We're also going to share a sneak preview from author Patricia Thayer about our exciting 8 book series that's launching in July, "The Larkville Legacy".

It's goodbye from the Harlequin Romance team for now, but we hope you enjoy this special spotlight week! Please feel free to leave your comments and questions and we'll check back - and we can't wait to read your fast track entries!

"Bryony, Meg, Anna and Charlotte xx "

Sunday, January 11, 2015

0 Singapore Productivity Or Excellence

Singapore Productivity Or Excellence
With the advent of the upcoming Budget in Singapore, it appears that many people in the business community are expecting additional benefits from the Government. While I will always welcome government support, I also know that this is not the defining factor. Looking at the way people have interpreted and debated the new Population White Paper, it appears that everything is now externalized. All pros and cons are evaluated based on the lines of tangible hard facts of economics versus the soft intangibles of social benefit. My take is a little different, and more psychology driven than politics driven. My premise is not to build only an external solution. Scientifically we know that external motivation does little to sustain a person. Why do we strive so hard to build a family or career? Because it develops satisfaction. But satisfaction often comes from dealing with something challenging and difficult! That is the nature of human behavior. The issue here is most people talk about developing the hardware, the infrastructure. The premise is that when this improves, people will be more satisfied with life. This is a great equation, and unfortunately too simplistic in my opinion. The best looking building may also hide cracks in the foundation, just as the most good looking person may hide scars from the past. The reason for my skepticism is even if we build great infrastructure, without building the appropriate attitudes, we will end back in this same scenario ten years later because we did not address the beliefs and attitudes that created this scenario in the first place. I am growing, and I hope I am wrong, to see a society in Singapore become inward looking, complaining and blameful, complacent, dependent on government support in spite of not being a welfare state, and driven by the illusion that security, absolute security, is possible through external intervention. While I acknowledge that this is a generalization, I prefer to work on the assumption of the worst case scenario, so anything else gained is a bonus. When you ask someone to fix a problem, there must be awareness and acceptance that there is a problem. However, when telling someone that the issue is with them, it is very hard to see. I've told people that when I suggest a change in their behavior, that they need to look at it not from me as a person pointing fingers and complaining, but rather as a person who is offering a unique perspective, thereby potentially offering a change that is an improvement. Of course, as a coach, I expect to encounter resistance. All the more I have to be patient and learn to understand why the response to the situation was lackluster. Perhaps it was a misinterpretation of my intent. Perhaps it was something that I did not bring across well. Whatever the case, it all calls for realizing that everyone has difficulties, and every person's opinions are slightly different because we are not uniform. We are human. In Singapore, we seem to strive to be a very materialistic society. The word "productivity" itself says it all: achieve more. Instead, I challenge people to move away from the concept of productivity to the concept known as "excellence". Just as it is human to be vulnerable, it is the human spirit that goads us on to excel. Excellence is not a science. It literally is an art form. In my opinion, to strive for excellence begets productivity, but from the inside-out rather than from the outside-in. It means we have to look at ourselves as the integral part of the bigger picture, and to say: how does what I do affect the greater scheme of things? Take for instance the issue of foreign talent. I am aware deeply that there are fears here. But from an employer standpoint, if you give me proper market forces to dictate my choices, I will note two things. First, Singaporeans appear relatively less hungry than some others to fight for their rice bowl. It means I'm no longer sure how dedicated they will be on the job. Based purely on the law of numbers, give me a bigger talent pool and I will eventually find someone who is dedicated and skilled and lower in cost based on an employer's criteria. If, in worst case scenario thinking, all Singaporeans fall out of the category, it must mean that something they are doing is making them unhireable. I believe I am a logical and rational employer. If something costs 100 but is worth 1, I'd be the biggest fool buying it. The question is whether Singaporeans can be that employee that makes a 5,000 investment in salary worth 500,000. So the issue in my opinion, is an attitude. Why would anyone help someone win 500,000 on just 5,000? I believe, someone who is playing in a Blue Ocean, not a Red one. A Blue Ocean represents win-win, positive and sustained growth. In a proper ecosystem, a Blue Ocean employer thinks of how to help his employer maximize return. A Red Ocean employee simply asks "why should I lose out?" without seeing that the gains are mutual: the employee becomes more skillful from experience, hence more valuable and marketable, and the employer gains tangible returns from offering this autonomy, challenge and monetary stability. The employee learns to communicate this value and builds a long term relationship with this employer, possibly eventually going into joint partnerships in the future. Who exhibits better personal excellence? If market forces come in, Singapore workers will be forced to improve, hence sharpening our edge against a tidal wave of changes expected. Perhaps this is harsh, and from a political standpoint, too extreme. Yet, any Singaporean reading this should know that we can be overcome by economic forces anytime as a small country. Should we not depend more on building personal excellence first? This is the ultimate security: knowing you have faith in your own abilities to build a future you want, anytime, anywhere, even with limited resources. This leads me to my second point. Personal excellence is intangible. I have been teaching this for close to two decades and had been a fundamental turning point for myself in my early teens. Without this attitude, I believe I would have just been the average guy. Yet, we see people clamoring for programs and schemes that are all about money making and wealth building. I'm not against that, and I know the allure of such programs. Yet money is what you end up with based on who you are, what you can do, and whether or not you act on it. I have not seen people who apply their talents, go hungry! This is fundamental, but I think it has not been driven home. Sadly, I am seeing more people who are hanging on to the government as the only support. A crutch. Instead, a heavy dose of learning and self improvement should be ingested. For all the available grant schemes in Singapore, perhaps the training grants should be lauded the most, yet people may not tap on them let alone know about them. Personal excellence is something we have heard of and not known for. We watch and are awe-inspired by the likes of Rocky and Warrior, The Pursuit of Happyness and Remember the Titans. These stories talk about the impeccable quality of the human spirit. Perhaps we are still young, and as a country still coming out of teenagehood, we still depend on our parents while demanding autonomy. Perhaps in time we can kill the mentality of entitlement and replace it with an attitude of excellence so that we will be known less as an efficient country but a country with a heart, standing to defy the odds and come out stronger. This is where we began in our roots of independence. That is our legacy. It is a calling we have been invited to answer in this period of trial and uncertainty. And it is not the country that has to take action but the individual. Will you answer that call to be excellent?

Thursday, January 8, 2015

1 Where To Meet Singles To Date

Where To Meet Singles To Date
The most obvious place to look for a decent date is the internet. You can find a singles site for just about any person. There are local sites, national sites, as well as sites based on religion and culture.

There are sites that do the matching for you based on personality profiles and still others where you can search and browse and then make contact. You can also go to chat rooms to find people who are interested in the same things as you. At one time there may have been a bit of a stigma with online dating, but these days it's as common as it can be. All you need to get started is a few digital pictures of yourself and an Internet connection. Check out this free dating site

Speed dating is another popular way to meet people. Most major cities have companies that provide this service. The idea is that you get to have dates that last anywhere from 2-5 minutes so that you can see if you have an initial attraction with someone. You'll go in a circle so that you meet several people in a short time. Then if both of you are interested, you can exchange numbers or arrange a date at a different time and location. This is a great way to meet a lot of potential dates at one time.

Another option for dating is a dinner club. Again, this is an option that you can find in larger cities. When you join the club you'll be scheduled for an appointment that has lots of different people joined together for a meal. You'll be able to chat with many different people in a low-pressure environment. If you make a connection - great. If not, at least you had an enjoyable meal.

If you're not comfortable with dating services, you may want to see if your friends or family can set you up with someone.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

0 Educational Psychology Woman Word Look For The Woman Inside

Educational Psychology Woman Word Look For The Woman Inside
Editor's Note: Welcome to day four and the final unveiling of a week of debuting some new features on So about what I said...! Today, friends, like I did with Mind of a Man, it's now the women's turn to have their say in A WOMAN'S WORD. First up is my lovely and insightful blog friend, Amanda. We're so alike in so many ways, so I couldn't resist getting her thoughts on some of the disability issues some people give me crazy looks for even expressing. See what she had to say!

If you'd like to submit your own topic for this feature (women only, remember; men, you've got your own column, so don't get to feeling too inferior), feel free to email me at mellow1422 [at] aol [dot] com.


I enjoy giving other people my energy. With dealing with depression issues, it is a must that I go places on a daily basis. I like meeting people on the buses, in stores and going out to eat. There are many people who don't really understand that a person with a physical disability can be happy in that role. There are a few instances where the disability wears off and the non-disabled woman can be seen. One is when I exercise on the floor. I remember as a child watching a group of swimmers dancng in a line. I layed on the floor and pretended to be one of the women. I still do that to this day. The second is through reading. When we read, authors give us a clear vision into the imaginary world. We are able to be non-disabled wives and mothers who juggle everything. The last is through writing. What better way to open up to our world than to write?

How do you view our society's outlook on disabilities in the media? How can we change the view to gain full acceptance?

My view on our society is that this world was not made for people with physical disability to begin with. There have been jokes about our "ancestors" being locked in closets. One of my favorite movies is "The Secret Garden." In the movie, there is a boy whose father keeps him hidden in a bedroom. The mother has passed on. There is no life whatsoever in that house. Our society has made disabilities out to be a dark, dreary room. Who deserves that life? I remember reading Julie Andrews' book "Mandy" years ago. Instead of Mandy living in a plain cottage, varieties of flowers were planted outside. That's the goal of what each one of us hopes to convey to our society. Personally, I would rather have a lively feeling internally and externally.

Changing other people's viewpoints happens through advocacy. Those of us who are unable to speak advocate through writing articles and letters to educate. I can not begin to tell you how uncomfortable it is to be around someone who gives off vibes of having a disliking a person with a disability. Some people do not care to understand about our lives. There are many people who do feel that we should not be around at public events. What alleviates that rejection feeling is having small children coming up to us with wheelchair fascinations. The child's eyes shine as they look at our chairs in awe amazement. A child's curiosity makes up for every ounce of heartache caused by society.

How do you view yourself? Do you see your disability in the mirror?

That depends each day. The battle of self-acceptance is a daily fight. When I look in the mirror, I see my face. My chair is not visible, only the handles. I see the woman who I lost to suicide when I was a child. I see that woman's love of the law staring back at me. I see this lovely lady deep inside of me telling me to keep her wholesome memory alive and share my happiness with everyone I meet. I see the only picture I remember of this woman as her arms lifting me up as a child. This woman gave me so many dreams.

I do see the disability in the mirror at times and away from the mirror. There are many times when I would love to move to a log cabin and be a female hermit. The drawbacks to that life would be the same as a suicide. I have some negative self-images. I have battled with weight issues. I used to cope with stress through eating heavily. These days I eat two meals a day pretty much. I drink a shake at noon, eat a health chocolate bar mid-afternoon, and then eat something light around seven or eight. You could say I am trying to be like a non-disabled woman through physical appearances.

What do you believe men do not understand about a woman who is physically disabled? How can we change a man's perception of us?

I don't think men understand that women with physical disability need more attention than most women. When a non-disabled man decides to get into a relationship with us, he needs to realize that there will be sacrifices. He needs to have patience. There will be things we may not be physically able to do. Dates of skiing, skating, and learning how to do the waltz are not on the list of enjoyable activities. If we mention something in the past and he remembers through that information through his actions, then that Is the perfect man.

As much as we want a man to change and date us that will not realistically happen. I personally do not want to have a boyfriend whose perception I need to change on my disability. A man either accepts the disability and me, or I don't need him in my life. I would wonder about problems that may arise if I dated someone whose perception I needed to change at first.. I feel more comfortable around men who have had a friend or family member who has been disabled, or better yet, that guy is disabled. I am finding out that men from other countries are very accepting of women in wheelchairs.

[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]

Sunday, January 4, 2015

1 Using Craigslist To Meet People

Using Craigslist To Meet People
I've used online dating services almost since their inception when I've been single and wanted to meet someone. I started as a geeky girl in demand when there were few of us online, and from that a sort of elitist mentally spawned: online dating sites were fine, but I drew the line at the classifieds and chat rooms. For many years I've clung to this unspoken yet firmly entrenched rule of mine, and many of my friends have as well. Clients that have used Craigslist to meet people were few and far between, so I wasn't asked for advice on the subject often. Fast forward to a few days ago, when I realized I've been single for some time and would like to start dating again. How should I meet people that I could potentially date? Sure, I can review my own list of places to meet people (and did), but I wanted to try something different. Something I'd never done before, something that might help me encounter folks I wouldn't meet otherwise, something totally out of character. A girlfriend of mine suggested Craigslist. My first reaction was to laugh, and then... well why not? I wrote up a short blurb explaining where I was at and what I was looking for, as well as what I have to offer someone else. A quick proofread and a few mouse clicks later, my Craigslist ad was live. Would anyone reply? Would people make fun of me? How many inappropriate photos would I get? Would safe dating be an issue? It didn't take long for the first people to answer, and I was surprised with their candor and intelligence. Yes, I did receive a few undesirable responses (which were immediately put in my spam folder so I never heard from them again), and a dating scam offer or two. Many were considerably older than what I'd expressly stated a preference for, and some were honest with their want for casual dating only. One gent sent a nasty note when I didn't reply in a timely manner, and one email was from a good friend (we shared a few laughs over that one). All in all though, the experience was better than I'd hoped for. Its success is still pending, but if meeting new people was my only goal, Craigslist provided me with more positive interactions and opportunities than any online dating site has in years. If things don't work out with any of the Craigslist folks, maybe I'll try something even more out of my comfort zone in a few weeks' time. But what about you? Have you used Craigslist to meet people? Why or why not? Are you concerned about safety, who will contact you, privacy or how it will come across to your friends/family?

Saturday, January 3, 2015

0 Musing Omg Vs Meh

Musing Omg Vs Meh
'Not Dressed As Lamb'. That's what I hope I am at the ripe-old age of 39. I'm also trying not to be predictable mutton either. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a great believer in women of all ages being able to wear whatever they like (as long as it doesn't harm or deeply offend anyone). And I also believe in making the most of what you've got, whether you're a nubile 18 year old or a 40-something cougar. And while I love - no, adore - reading gossip/celebrity magazines, where I drool over the "Best Dressed" pages and, likewise, recoil in enjoyable horror at the "What Were They Thinking" ones overleaf, I can't help but feel differently when out on the street and seeing women in similar attire. In the past I've found myself judging other women on what they're wearing, but what right do I have to do this? They may well have taken as much time over their appearance as I did that morning, and left the house feeling a million dollars. It's this feeling that I think every woman should work towards achieving as a direct result of her chosen outfit every day, whether or not the trained eye of a stylist thinks the result looks like Audrey Hepburn reincarnate or a downright mess. If she loves what she's wearing, feels great, then who cares? The fact that her outfit makes her happy is the main thing. Case in point: Su Pollard. I think she looks bloody amazing. I know, you're thinking, OH - MY - GOD. I used to think that too, until recently. The eccentric English actress has always dressed as madly as this, and if you've never seen or heard of her before then all you need to know is Su Pollard was the Lady Gaga of her day. Why on earth would I publish a photo on a fashion blog of someone looking like the teen section of Chelsea Girl had thrown up on her? Well, I also thought she was a walking fashion disaster. During the 80s, whilst I was wearing my white stilettos, electric blue jumpsuit and matching mascara, I wondered how she could even leave the house in the most uncoordinated, migraine-inducing ensembles I'd ever seen. But now that I'm older (and a little bit more tolerant) I can see that bloody hell - she's always looked "happy". And didn't seem to care what anyone else thought. Think how much time and effort went into that outfit. That's not an outfit that just happened to be whatever was to hand that morning - she went all out, guns blazing, I'm-gonna-rock-the-striped-socks-fur-and-feathers-look today. The contents of her wardrobe must be to fashion what Willy Wonka was to chocolate: tacky, over the top and absolutely delicious (in a bonkers way). You've got to hand it to the woman - she accessorises beautifully with all the confidence in the world. And it's not a one-off, this is her whole "raison d'^etre". Now you're probably still thinking, I don't care, it's still O-M-G. Well, at least it's not 'meh'. Plain old, boring, lifeless... "meh". You know, the outfits where there's no thought, no care, no effort, just total apathy. With unattended-to hair and make-up to match. They're the women I see on the street that I want to drag into the nearest department store and allow to run amok, be free, have a fling with an orange and cerise striped kaftan, tickle the fancy of those cerulean platform wedges, and never darken the door of apathy ever again. Personally, I prefer O-M-G to "meh". Bloggers write blogs because they have something to say. Something they're passionate about. Something they love. So next time you read a nasty, spiteful comment on someone's fashion blog (or, god forbid, think about posting one), think about Su. Deliriously happy in her outrageous colours and fluffy accessories. Is there a single ounce of happiness coming through those nasty words you see on your screen?


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