0 Surviving Infidelity

It may seem hard to believe, but relationships can, and do, survive affairs. With hard work, openness, honesty, and commitment, they can even thrive after infidelity. One of the most important steps for recovery is to rebuild trust in the relationship. This starts with the unfaithful partner taking measures to begin the healing process with their partner. 1) End the affair and cease all contact. This is the single most important first step. If an unfaithful partner is dishonest about the status of the affair, all other attempts to heal the relationship will be undermined. 2) Answer your partner's questions honestly and openly. It may be painful to recount events and details that bring feelings of guilt or shame. You may worry about hurting your partner even further. However, the process of being truthful and not hiding information from your partner is critical in the trust rebuilding process. 3) Answer the same questions many times, if needed. Let your partner dictate this process. Understand that they may need to ask questions many times and hear consistent answers before they can move on to the next stage of healing. 4) Genuinely apologize and verbalize your commitment to your partner often. A genuine apology includes acknowledgement of the hurt and pain caused to the other person, the family, and anyone else affected. Your intentions and dedication to the relationship are important for your partner to hear often. Do not assume that saying it once will be sufficient. Your partner may need this type of reassurance every day for months or longer. 5) Be willing to account for your time, whereabouts, money, etc. and be honest about everything. Again, any level of dishonesty will undermine your efforts and progress. What may seem like an inconsequential omission to you may be read as yet another betrayal by your partner. If you are hiding something small, your partner will have a hard time believing you are not hiding other things. 6) Do not, under any circumstances, blame your partner for your choices. Although part of the recovery process is to understand the factors that made the relationship vulnerable to infidelity, it does not absolve you of full accountability for your actions. Be very careful that your language communicates understanding rather than blame. 7) Acknowledge and validate your partner's feelings about you, your relationship, and the affair. Understand that there is no normal reaction to infidelity and that whatever your partner feels is legitimate. 8 ) Don't be afraid to seek help from clergy, counselors, or other qualified professionals who can guide you through the process. All content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only, is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition, and is not a substitute for care by a trained professional. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors, omissions, losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information. This article can also be viewed at: Ezine Articles.com