1 The Playground At Work

Maturity plays a large role in many different aspects of life. To achieve in your career or work environment, it's important to be mature and surround yourself with similar people. If you have the misfortune to work in a place where there is a lot of gossip, messing around and other immature behaviour going on, it may be hard to succeed or achieve your aims in your job. Even worse, you might become a part of this behaviour and lose any sense of professionalism that you had in the first place. Having fun at work is completely possible and a legitimate desire for many people. It's important to realise that there is such a thing as having too much fun that then leads to your success being hindered by your actions and behaviors.

The best work environments are those without tangled webs of gossip and relationships that keep people from being productive. These behaviours show signs of great immaturity on the entire company's part.

Like the girl at the soft play area recently where I was with my grandsons -

As soon as we walked into soft play area we saw this - near the entrance is one of tyre like swings, but now they are more like a shell in which 2 children (sometimes more can sit). Children just love them, it gives the illusion of control and a swing that moves on a pivot above, so little actual physical exertion required. These are popular a bit like bike or rowing machine in the gym where you can watch TV, until the bully shows up that is. In this case, the bully came disguised as a cute little girl immaculately kitted out and wearing a 'butter wouldn't melt' look on her face. She marched pertly up to the swing (past the whole queue), took a look at the two sitting in the swing and began push the child nearest to her out to make room for herself. Eventually the ripple effect of the force caught up with the other child and he fell out of his side of the swing. Ignoring the fuss around her, the bully looked quite content, but quickly realised she didn't have full control of the ropes. Two more swift pushes and she was all alone in the swing, a smug smile on her face and two crying victims on the ground next to her. She was going to get what she wanted regardless of who was in her way. Some bullies never grow up and take their bad behaviour to work.

What is interesting is that in NLP we talk of the 'secondary gain' or 'positive intention', the unconscious 'reasoning' behind why we do something. The thing that our action gets for us, sometimes however whatever that is that we get is non-apparent as we grow up, grow older, become more mature. At some point in our life this behaviour, or maybe what is now seen as a dysfunction worked for us. It got us something (or at least the illusion of a pay-off), but as we grow older, as adults eventually these behaviours cost us more than they actually get us (although we may not see this at the time).

How can we generate new behaviours?

One suggestion here -

NEW BEHAVIOUR GENERATOR

This pattern allows you to create new behaviours and run them through in your mind before actually trying them. This process allows you to systematically build up an internal representation in the three main sensory systems of the specific behaviour you want. It works because the unconscious mind has no way of telling the difference between a 'real' event, and something you imagine vividly.

Be clear that is a change you want to make.

Eyes: Look down left

Talk to yourself. Ask "What do I want to do differently?"

Say to yourself, "If I could do that, what would it look like?" As you say this, lead yourself up to your right

Eyes: Look up right

See yourself (dissociated make sure they are doing this) doing that new behaviour. Notice what happens to your state and the effect on any other people involved.

Eyes: Look down right

Step into the experience and feel how it is. This (kinaesthetic) check is an important part of your evidence procedure. It allows you to evaluate your new behaviour and make any necessary adjustments.

Repeat at least three times.

Make any necessary adjustments or modifications. Find some alternatives - you may make changes or add in new pieces - and then run them in your mind's eye. Watch what happens, listen out for objections, and then check the associated feeling.

Future pace.

Once you are satisfied with your own performance, step inside that image of yourself in your imagination, and run it through as though you are there, now, doing it. As you go through the motions, pay particular attention both to your feelings and to the response of any other people around you.

If you want to change anything, run through again and check how it feels

And then practise.

"With thanks to Andy Smith"

Reference: umad-dating-advices.blogspot.com