1 Guest Post Relationship Dealbreakers

When Melissa first asked me to do a guest post about dating/relationships, I kind of chuckled. Actually it was more like a snort. See, I met my husband when I was only 19, and I got married when I was 21. Twenty-one! Can you believe that? I kind of can't. So here I am, divvying up some advice on dating when my personal dating/single stint didn't last much longer than Lisa and Zach's one episode fling ("and don't pretend your have no idea what I'm talking about"). Ladies, there's a fine line between being too picky ("refusing to date a man because he has arm hair") or not being picky enough ("settling for Mr. Collins, shall we say"). But you do have to have some boundaries. Some absolute, mustn't-haves, or you'll end up realizing that twenty years of indulging in your husband's obsession with NASCAR is a segue for divorce. So I've enlisted some help from my friend Karen because she has some "say it isn't true" dating stories. We've come up with a list of absolute dealbreakers ("as my hero, Liz Lemon would say, and that's pop culture reference #3 already"). Please note that some of these are meant to be tongue-in-cheek dealbreakers, so have a laugh! "ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS...JUST SAY NO TO ANYONE WHO:"*Has a room dedicated to his Creed/Nickelback memorabilia *Gym rats who love taking off their shirt and doing that jiggling-peck thing in public places *Wears tank tops with large arm holes*Wears cut-offs*Has an addiction to video games *Gets style advice from Jon Gosselin *Still lives with his parents over the age of 25 ("acceptable exceptions: parents sick, unforeseen lay-off, etc")*Hates to read actual books*Tries to live his life like a Maxim magazine*Is mean to waiters/people in the service industry*Uses more hair products than I do*Lists Hugh Hefner as a role model *Refuses to get a day job because his band is going to make it 'any day now'*Sits next to me in a three-seater front seat when there is just the two of us *Has unacceptable facial hair (mutton chops, soul patch, little stache) *Prefers Jimmy Kimmel over Conan*Prefers Walmart over Target*Has highlighted hair*Wears hemp bracelets and necklaces*Asks me to get a boob job *Thinks that the all-meat sandwich at KFC was a good idea *Talks in the third person and only the third person I'm sure you could add a few of your own or maybe even erase a few. Hey, if you're a fan of Ed Hardy t-shirts and some-large-and-in-charge-sideburns, more power to you. I'll throw a few gems your way. --BY MELANIE FROM YOU ARE MY FAVE[Photo via kissssing]