There are many reasons why people choose to start dating online. It can often be the best place to start dating again after you've been out of the pool for awhile. If you've been in a long-term relationship and you suddenly find yourself single, when you feel ready to get out there again, dating online might be the best solution for you.
Rebounding with someone new is typical when you first start dating after you've either been married or with someone for awhile. Rebounding has a negative connotation, but if the two people involved understand these boundaries of this new relationship, it doesn't have to end terribly. Rebounding brings up images of one person using the other just to get back into dating someone new, but if you allow your new date to understand where you're coming from, the first relationship you find yourself in after a long-term relationship can actually be very healthy and rewarding.
Honesty is obviously the best way to go. You should definitely let your online date know where you are in your life. If you're feeling hesitant about dating, you should certainly communicate your reluctance to this new person in your life. Most everyone has been in a similar situation, and sometimes strangers can provide more comfort, friendship and perspective than people who know us very well. But it does bear repeating: you should let your date know from the start that you may not be interested in anything serious. You need to go slowly, since you're probably still getting your bearings in the dating world again.
It's probably best if you don't start to date until you are truly ready and over your ex. There are all types of triggers when you're feeling emotionally vulnerable and if you're not quite ready to start with someone new, you probably shouldn't. You are mourning the loss of the old love, and it may not be a bad idea to go solo for awhile. However, friendship is always welcome, so if you meet someone online and tell them you're interested in only friendship, this might make the whole rebounding thing a little easier to handle.
Don't stay alone for too long. You don't have to date, but it is important to get out in the world and get socially active. Dating online offers you that opportunity. You don't have to be looking for your new husband or wife, but meeting new people can certainly be good for the soul. And who knows? You may meet someone to rebound with and it won't be a rebound at all. There's always the possibility of finding the right someone for you.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009
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